Tourist mom: Oh my god! Hey, look, it’s an advertisement we know!
Tourist children chanting in unison: Tar-get! Tar-get! Tar-get! Tar-get!
–Times Square
Tourist mom: Oh my god! Hey, look, it’s an advertisement we know!
Tourist children chanting in unison: Tar-get! Tar-get! Tar-get! Tar-get!
–Times Square
Girl: Hew-ston, we have a problem.
Mom: How-ston, honey. Houston, we have a problem.
–NY Animal Control Center
Mother: Clarence! Hey, Clarence, have you got my child support check?
Son: Ha, ha! That goat looks like my dad!
–Bronx Zoo
Kid: Do you know what I could really go for?
Mother: What’s that, Sugar?
Kid: Me — in bed!
–125th & Lex
Overheard by: LJers
Little girl: Mommy, where do people go when they’re bad?
Mother: Australia, sweetie, with all the snakes.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Girl from Australia
Man on cell: What are you, some sort of reverse vampire?
–C train
Dude: And there were unicorns exploding in the background… or at least doing whatever it is unicorns do.
–Live Bait, 23rd St
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Chick: You kind of look like a vampire in this picture. But a cool vampire! Like, if you were in The Lost Boys, Kiefer Sutherland would totally want to have sex with you.
–55th & 6th
Overheard by: wants to have sex with Kiefer Sutherland
Drunk hobo chuckling: You people look depressed! I know how to cheer you up. I’ll sing my favorite song! ‘Ding, dong, the witch is dead, the witch is dead…’ [Looks around] Hmmm… [Notices the train going express] What the…? I need a new mathematician! I need a new mathematician!
–6 train making express stops on a surprise basis
Overheard by: Barry Negrin
Sax-wielding hobo: I am an alien! From outer space! Not from Mexico!
–L train
Overheard by: Alex P. Keaton
Ricky’s employee: Looks like I’m all out in the fairy department.
–58th & Broadway
Mom: Johnny, put down the sword. Vampires don’t use weapons. Their teeth are their weapons.
–Halloween shop, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Man #1: How was your weekend?
Man #2: Shitty.
Man #1: Well… When did you first suspect your mother was gay?
Man #2: I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?
–Union Square
40-something preggers: So my mother insisted on coming into the room when I had my last pelvic exam.
Other patient: Seriously?
40-something preggers: What’s worse is that she was standing near the doctor while he was doing the exam. She was watching.
Other patient: What? No way!
40-something preggers: Then she said to the doctor, ‘Can I hold something for you?’
–Gynecologist’s office, Manhattan
Mom: What’s the candy situation?
Trick-or-treating child: More! More! More!
–69th & Columbus
Kid: Mommy, why are there so many pictures of naked people?
Mother: Because lots of people went naked in history.
–European art section, the Met
Overheard by: nixie
