Fat lady: Do you understand English?
Guy: I do and you sound like an asshole.
–7 train
Fat lady: Do you understand English?
Guy: I do and you sound like an asshole.
–7 train
Black guy: It is the last day of Black History Month and nobody sent me a card?
White guy: Well then, happy Black History Month.
Black guy: Yeah sure, whatever!
White guy: No, seriously, thank you! Thank you for Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, Richard Pryor…
Black guy: Well I guess tomorrow I have to back to sitting in the back of the bus!
White guy: No! What are you talking about? We don’t pick on blacks anymore! That’s what gays are for!
Black guy: Ohhh!
–Graham Street station
Overheard by: Philip Rafferty
White guy: Is it true that Mexicans carry knives?
Mexican girl: Shut up before I bust into a stereotype on your ass.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Sol
Dude #1: She’s just got this, y’know, Asian air about her.
Dude #2: Yeah?
Dude #1: She’s got this, like, totally anime look.
Dude #2: Yeah?
Dude #1: Yeah, but I wish she were really Asian.
–88th & 1st
Overheard by: Beeeej
Hipster girl #1: What are all those flags for?
Hipster girl #2: Isn't the Puerto Rican parade today?
Disillusioned passerby: Oh, great! More rapes in the park!
–Delancey & Orchard, Lower East Side
Overheard by: K Swin
Asian chick #1: Yeah, my dad is mad tan, so at the beach everyone thinks he’s Mexican.
Asian chick #2: Oh, that sucks.
–Queens
New Waiter: So I learned a secret tonight. The words “Cheers” and “Brilliant” apparently mean “I’m going to leave you a bad tip”.
Old Waiter: You’re just now learning that? That’s Day One shit.
–Capital Grille, Midtown
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Asshole, pointing at a Chinese woman with Down Syndrome: Look a Mongoloid Mongolian.
–Pearl River Mart, Broadway
Overheard by: Philip
Girl on cell: Well, she wasn’t a better person before she went to rehab, just a more fun one…Yeah, I agree, it would be awesome if she relapsed. God, we are terrible people.
–28th & Madison
A man waves goodbye to two guys trying to help him with the subway map and departs the train.
Guy #1: Was he drunk?
Guy #2: No, he’s just Cuban.
–Queens-bound N train
Overheard by: Javi
White student: I can’t believe you guys gave my ID to another person!
Security guard: Yeah, I’m really sorry. I wish there was a better system for doing this.
White student: Yeah, they should have all the Asian kids in a separate directory, because they all have the same last names.
–23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Darren Montalbano
