Names

Queer: So, I was on a date with this guy, Christian — like the religion — the other night, and we had a nice hug and kiss goodbye. Then he went down into the PATH train. Right after he left, my phone started ringing and it said Christian was calling, and I was like, ‘What? How’s he calling me?’ And then I realized it was Cristian, C-R-I-S-T-I-A-N, this other guy I hooked up with a few months ago. So I answered and we ended up hooking up again that night… So, I had two Christians in one night. If this were ancient Rome, I’d be the lion in the Colosseum.

–Posh bar

Overheard by: Melissa Berry

Guy: You know — it’s Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
Girl: Who are they? Those guys that died?

–14th & Park Ave South

Blonde: Do you have a first name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: Yes.
Blonde: Do you have a last name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: Yes.
Blonde: Do you have a middle name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: No.
Blonde: Well, I wanna annoy you. What’s your conformation name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: I’m Jewish.
Blonde: So?

–21st & 1st

Professor, as student’s phone rings in class: Wow, that was loud. What band is that by?
Student: Well, I don’t remember what the song is called, but it’s by Panic! at the Disco.
Professor: Hmmm… I once panicked at the disco…

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Sromeo

Girl: Yeah, so then Bob said–
Guy: –Wait, who’s Bob?
Girl: SpongeBob.
Guy: Oh, right, right.

–Sullivan & Bleecker

Son: Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea…
Daughter: And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.
Son: Little Mikey Draper…
Daughter: You mean ‘little, ummm, Harry Safer’?
Son: Little Harry Safer…
Father: You mean Johnny Walker!

–57th & Broadway

Chick #1: Okay, what do we want to drink?
Chick #2: If I was Roman, my name would be Emperor Fabulous.
Chick #3: Perrier?

–Deli near Prospect Park

Overheard by: Liz Erd

Girlfriend: Great! My boyfriend doesn’t even know my last name.
Boyfriend: No, I do! It’s just…

–Lorimer & Metropolitan

Waiter #1: So, Todd called me last night.
Waiter #2: Did you pound him?

–Varick St

Old guy: Oh, look at this doggie. Who is this?
Cute girl: This is Nola.
Old guy: Lola?
Cute girl: Nola.
Old guy: Lola?
Cute girl: Nola with an N.
Old guy: M-and-M’s?
Cute girl: Nola.
Old guy, singing: Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl…

–72nd & Columbus

Overheard by: glad i’m not old