Stoner: She’s so fucking hot because she’s Asian and she only goes by one name — Selena — so you know she’s hot. Like Madonna… Or Jesus… Or Gandhi… Or Cher.
Friend: Gandhi had two names, dumbass.
–NYU Weinstein Dining Hall
Stoner: She’s so fucking hot because she’s Asian and she only goes by one name — Selena — so you know she’s hot. Like Madonna… Or Jesus… Or Gandhi… Or Cher.
Friend: Gandhi had two names, dumbass.
–NYU Weinstein Dining Hall
Man: So what do you think of the name I-lizabeth?
Woman: It’s not I-lizabeth, it’s ‘Ilizabeth.’
Man: I know. Elizabeth with an I. That’s so stupid.
Woman: What business is it of yours what they name their baby?
Man: I’m here and I’m aware of it, so I’m voicing my opinion. Spelling a name wrong is stupid. I guess they think it’s cute, but it’s gonna be a burden on that kid her whole life.
Woman: Why don’t you just shut up and keep your opinions to yourself?
Man: Well, then don’t invite me to these fucking parties where people make their stupidity public.
Woman: Just do me a favor — eat and keep your mouth shut until you leave.
–Baby-naming party, E 34th & 2nd
Overheard by: Big Larry
Queer: So, I was on a date with this guy, Christian — like the religion — the other night, and we had a nice hug and kiss goodbye. Then he went down into the PATH train. Right after he left, my phone started ringing and it said Christian was calling, and I was like, ‘What? How’s he calling me?’ And then I realized it was Cristian, C-R-I-S-T-I-A-N, this other guy I hooked up with a few months ago. So I answered and we ended up hooking up again that night… So, I had two Christians in one night. If this were ancient Rome, I’d be the lion in the Colosseum.
–Posh bar
Overheard by: Melissa Berry
Guy: You know — it’s Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
Girl: Who are they? Those guys that died?
–14th & Park Ave South
Blonde: Do you have a first name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: Yes.
Blonde: Do you have a last name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: Yes.
Blonde: Do you have a middle name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: No.
Blonde: Well, I wanna annoy you. What’s your conformation name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: I’m Jewish.
Blonde: So?
–21st & 1st
Professor, as student’s phone rings in class: Wow, that was loud. What band is that by?
Student: Well, I don’t remember what the song is called, but it’s by Panic! at the Disco.
Professor: Hmmm… I once panicked at the disco…
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Girl: Yeah, so then Bob said–
Guy: –Wait, who’s Bob?
Girl: SpongeBob.
Guy: Oh, right, right.
–Sullivan & Bleecker
Son: Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea…
Daughter: And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.
Son: Little Mikey Draper…
Daughter: You mean ‘little, ummm, Harry Safer’?
Son: Little Harry Safer…
Father: You mean Johnny Walker!
–57th & Broadway
Chick #1: Okay, what do we want to drink?
Chick #2: If I was Roman, my name would be Emperor Fabulous.
Chick #3: Perrier?
–Deli near Prospect Park
Overheard by: Liz Erd
Girlfriend: Great! My boyfriend doesn’t even know my last name.
Boyfriend: No, I do! It’s just…
–Lorimer & Metropolitan
