Wednesday One-Liners Didn’t Mean It Like That

NYU nerdy chick on cell: The oral is going to be super hard. …But I think I’ll be good at it.

–NYU

Overheard by: kat

Clerk, to female co-worker: I keep my meat to the side.

–Walgreens, Atlantic Ave

Girl: Bite and suck, bite and suck, bite and suck!

–Szechuan Restaurant

Overheard by: tallierand

Female customer to employee: …the gum that has the things in it. She likes to chew on the ones with the blue balls.

–Duane Reade, Fresh Meadows

Overheard by: evan FM

College sophomore: … So yeah, I said "Mom, stop rotating my pickle!"

–USA #1 Deli, La Salle & Broadway

Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze

Father to younger son: So you like second base right?

–Douglaston Market, Queens

Overheard by: Noelle

Posted on September 13, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Brooklyn, Clerks, Coworkers, Customers, Dads, Delis, Duane Reade, Education, Family Ties, Food, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Innuendo, NYU, Offers and requests, On Cell, Queens, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women, Words, Yeaaahhh College!

How Fitting

Guy #1 reading article: ‘The a-nulls of psychology’?
Guy #2: Dude, it’s ‘anals.’ You’re so stupid.

–Computer lab, NYU

Posted on September 10, 2014
Education, Idiots, NYU, Students, Stupidity, Words

The Puddles of Battery Acid Totally Sterilize It

Bimbette #1: Some people take roadkill and mount it on their walls.
Bimbette #2: Some people eat roadkill, too. They just take it off the street and cook it.
Bimbette #1: Oh… I don’t know if that’s really clean, though.
Bimbette #2: Well, it only got hit by a car. It didn’t get, like, whatever. It can’t be that dirty.
Bimbette #1: Oh, true.

–Dorm elevator, 3rd Ave N, NYU

Overheard by: freckles

Posted on September 8, 2014
Bimbettes, Food, NYU, Stupidity

Clearly Sex Needs More Upsides

Dude #1: How come when you have sex bad things happen, like STDs? Why can’t you get sexually transmitted skills, like creativity?
Dude #2: Or juggling.

–NYU Kimmel

Posted on September 1, 2014
Idiots, NYU, Questions

I’ll Have You Know That’s an Autographed Picture

NYU dude: You can’t flirt. That’s you’re problem.
NYU chick: Whatever. I have wit and charm. You’ve got a picture of Tom Hanks over your bed.

–NYU

Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual

Posted on September 1, 2014
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, NYU, Pictures, Relationships, Students

Or Maybe Like Being an Orthodox Jewish Woman

Hipster guy #1: Dude, your hair is getting really long.
Hipster guy #2: I know! It's nice. It's like having a hat…
Hipster guy #1: (silence)
Hipster guy #2: …made of hair.

–NYU

Posted on August 31, 2014
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Hair, Height, Hipsters, NYU, Physical appearance

Because Then You’re No Better Than the Students

Professor guy: What is “piecemeal legislation”?
Dude: Um…
Professor guy: Well, define the term “piecemeal”.
Dude: I’m not familiar with that word.
Professor guy: …Why don’t I just commit suicide right now?

–NYU, University & 8th

Overheard by: Leah Beirne