An older woman, ordering very slowly at a Starbucks in Vancouver, “should I get the large or the medium, oh I don’t know, I’m not really sure how thirsty I am…. ”
She then turns to the six people waiting online behind her, including your correspondent, and says, “I know I’m going slowly, so you all can go in front of me”
To which everyone else waiting on line behind her says in unison, “no, take your time” and “it’s okay, don’t worry about it” and “we’re not in a rush”
Old Woman: You’re not making fun of my hat, are you? Better not be. Lots of flowers on this hat, it’s a fine hat. I love this hat. Your problem is, you got no love in you. Not for hats, not for nothing.
–McDonalds, St. Mark’s Place
Young man in a cafe in Williamsburg: “So, what do you do?”
Older man: “I’m an artist–and one of my works is in the Whitney.”
— Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
An old lady is crossing the street with a small dachshund. As they approach Gray’s Papaya, the woman looks down and asks: Jimmy, did you say you wanted a hot dog?
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Jonathan
Girl getting out of the car: I wish I had a talent other than parallel parking…
–Park Slope
An old man, bent over and hobbling with his cane, says apropos of nothing: I’ve got to make a list.
–7th Ave.
Overheard by: Andrea Vaughn
Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario!
–Carmine St.
Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it.
–Soho
NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing!
–W. 13th St.
Overheard by: Dan Winckler
The cashier scans an old lady’s ricotta cheese.
Cashier: Why didn’t you get the bigger one?
Old Lady: ‘Cause I’ll eat it all! This way I have a limit.
–Waldbaum’s, Bensonhurst
Businesswoman on cell: If you told me she was 75 or 76, I’d say she looks fabulous. If you told me she was 73, I’d say she isn’t aging well at all.
–M101 bus
Skinny blond girl: So, you can do my friend for a hundred dollars.
Larger brunette: Yeah, you can have me anyway you like.
Older man: Anyway I like?
Skinny blond girl: Yeah.
Older man: How about on credit?
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: MYSTI
