Old man: What?
Old lady: [silence]
Old man: What?
Old lady: She said “Reefer,” not “queefer”!
Old man: What’s the difference?
Thug: The smell.
–3 train
Old man: What?
Old lady: [silence]
Old man: What?
Old lady: She said “Reefer,” not “queefer”!
Old man: What’s the difference?
Thug: The smell.
–3 train
Old mom: 9/11 was 3 years ago, wasn’t it?
Aging daughter: No, 9/11 happened 5 years ago.
Old mom: Really?
Aging daughter: Yeah… but I wish it was 3 years ago, ’cause that would mean I’d be younger.
–E train
Overheard by: Sierra Smith
Old man: [hiccups] Old lady: I’ll kill you, dead!
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Raychel Tumin
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
Old man #1: Do you know why a bunny is connected to Easter?
Old man #2: No.
Old man #1: It’s because Easter is about fertility and rabbits are animals that are always copulating.
Old man #2: Huh, I never heard about that.
Old man #1: Think about it. On Easter, you have the bunnies and the bunnies have eggs and the eggs have children in them.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda Matteis
Old woman: No! No! You need to cut from that side of the meat. Last week you gave me a cut from the right side. I want a cut from the left side! Don’t you know that I want a fresh cut of meat?
Deli guy: Only way you gonna get a fresher cut of meat is if I take it from your wrinkly white ass.
–Fairway Market, 74th & Broadway
Old woman: I need to see the lady to get my PIN number to activate my card.
Old man: They sent you your PIN.
Old woman: I need to see that lady over there.
Old man: I’m telling you, you have your PIN already.
Old woman: Just shut your fucking mouth while I see the lady.
–Bank of America, Chambers & Broadway
Overheard by: Anna
Drunk girl: I’m not that drunk. I hate how when I only get a little drunk I still slur words.
–Astoria
Suit on cell: Why would I lie to you? When have I ever lied to you? Listen, you and I both know there are “no nice little neighborhoods” in Queens!
–11th Street & 4th Avenue
Overheard by: jayKayEss
Girl: Did you see those capris? They looked like the girl had her vagina on sideways!
–Windsor Terrace
