Guy #1: Yo, it’s hot, son!
Guy #2: Yeah, like two dicks rubbin’ together.
–Q6 bus
Overheard by: Who knows what that feels like?
Guy #1: Yo, it’s hot, son!
Guy #2: Yeah, like two dicks rubbin’ together.
–Q6 bus
Overheard by: Who knows what that feels like?
Dude #1: Yeah, he tans all the time by the track. He uses, like, a quarter of a bottle of tanning oil.
Dude #2: Well, there’s a lot of skin cancer.
Chick: I think skin cancer is overrated. Not to be disrespectful, but is it even legitimate?
–Jamaica-bound Q30 bus
Overheard by: Liza
Thug: [Hacking cough.]Old woman: You choking again? You keep it up and I’m gonna have to do the hymen maneuver on you!
Thug: Awww, hell no!
–Bx4 bus
Overheard by: some chick
Teen girl #1: So, last night we were talking, and he still wants to put it in my ass… Like, how could I be with someone who only thinks about shoving his thing up my ass?
Teen girl #2: So what are you gonna do?
Teen girl #1: I don’t know! Help me!
Teen girl #2, puzzled: I thought you love anal sex?
Teen girl #1: Oh, yeah.
–S79 bus
Overheard by: rob l
Sixth grader #1: When I grow up, I’m going to make a movie called The Tallest Midget!
Sixth grader #2: Nigga, you stupid.
–Triboro coach
Overheard by: face
Drunk Brit with arm around ugly lady: Oh, Jesus, just walking is making me horny.
–10th & 2nd
Overheard by: emilia
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Your hair is making me horny.
–B train
Overheard by: Janelle
Guy in hoodie: I don’t know — rain gear just doesn’t really turn me on.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ktg
Loud woman: According to recent research, a nine-month-old fetus can experience an erection.
–Bus to Staten Island
Chick on cell: … And he was, like, rubbing his erection on me, and I was like, ‘Dude, you’re rubbing your erection on me…’
–Fordham University
Lady: What are horny men doing at Build-a-Bear, anyway?
–40th & 5th
Overheard by: don’t wanna know
Thugette #1: Man, where the fuck am I gonna get a prom dress and after-party outfit? You know, I should just sell crack! Ain’t nobody gonna stop me!
Thugette #2: Yeah, that’s the best part about being a girl.
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: DaraDay
Headline by: Zorak
Runners-Up:
· “By the way, are you free to babysit that night?” – bobofthejungle
· “Miracle of birth ain’t got nothin’ on pushin'” – Erin
· “Sugar and Crack and Everything Whack” – The Trayster
· “The Third Wave of Feminism Wants Its Money, Bitch” – clevecinema
· “Well, Other Than the Multiple Orgasms…” – Teppy
Hipster chick: Hey, what do you do when Pikachu won’t get on a bus?
Thug: I dunno.
Hipster chick: You poke him on! Get it? Like Pokemon?
Thug: No, then he would thunderstrike you.
Hipster chick: [Silence.]Thug: He’s an electric type, you know?
–M14D bus, 1st Ave
Overheard by: melanie
Preschool girl: Mom, can we go to that restaurant? I’m so hungry!
Mom: No, we’re almost home.
Preschool girl: But Mom! I’m so hungry I just drank my own spit!
–M86 bus, 86th & York
Overheard by: Cynthia
Grunge rocker teen on cell: Oh, yeah, the book A Wrinkle in Time… It’s, like, one of those books they make you read in sixth grade… Yeah, sixth grade. Six… Like, two divided by three — six.
–Q88 bus
Overheard by: Michelle
