Tall girl: I have a Drunken Master style of riding the subway.
Short girl: But you’re sober!
Tall girl: Yeah, unfortunately. Drinking gives me superpowers.
–F Train
Tall girl: I have a Drunken Master style of riding the subway.
Short girl: But you’re sober!
Tall girl: Yeah, unfortunately. Drinking gives me superpowers.
–F Train
Puerto Rican Girl #1: So I saw Jose at his job? And it was kinda cool? Because I’m not afraid of gross and freaky shit.
Puerto Rican Girl #2: Uh huh.
Puerto Rican Girl #1: And you know, they make good money. You just gotta go to school for a couple years or somethin’. And not be afraid of gross and freaky shit. You gotta study–what is it called?
Puerto Rican Girl #2: Morturary science?
–A train
Hipster Chick: So she’s the heiress to like–what, K-mart or some shit?–and she can’t afford to buy us all drinks? Fuck her!
–D Train
Mom: What are you, stupid? 14 minus 34 is not 30 blocks. It’s ten!
Daughter: No it’s not.
Mom: Oh yeah, wait. It’s twenty.
–3 Train
Overheard by: Rehey11
Student #1: Next question.
Student #2: Of the Federalist writers, who was the most suspicious of majority rule?
Student #1: Hamilton, right? He had the toughest stand on public rule.
Student #3: Wasn’t so tough against Raymond Burr.
Student #2: What?
Student #3: You know. The dude who shot him.
Student #1: Aaron. Aaron Burr. Dumb fuck.
–4 train
Overheard by: Terence
Girl, 18, #1: …so Mikey and I were in the car and Annie came and opened the door and was like “Oops!” Cause we went to Germany.
Girl, 18, #2: Germany?
Girl, 18, #1: You know, “Jerk me” is like “Germany”. So we say we’re “going to Germany”.
–D train
A black girl tries to squeeze past twin asian chicks and a little asian boy to get into the train.
Black girl: Do you mind?
Asian chick #1: Don’t be rude, can’t you go around us?
Black girl: I don’t move around people; they move around me.
Asian chick #1: You’re inside now, so please stop yelling at us.
Black girl: You are so rude! Is that how you talk to people in front of your child?
Asian chick #1: You know, I’m tired of listening to your crap. Talk to the hand.
Asian boy: Yeah, you talk too much. Talk to the hand!
–A train
Lady hobo: Hey, y’all, I’m homeless and I’m three months pregnant, and I’m looking for some help from the people of this train, so if anybody got some money they want to give, please help me take care of my baby.
College girl with change: I’ll give you this money if you’re saving up for an abortion.
Lady hobo: What? Nooo, I’m keeepin’ my baby.
College girl, putting change away: Okay, then.
Lady hobo: Wait, what?
–F train
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #1: “If I were a boy…” Who sings that?
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #2: Think it's Beyonce.
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #1: That has a negative connotation, it should be: “if I were a girl…”
–Uptown 6 Train
Grandmother reading newspaper: Oh, it's grandparents' day tomorrow!
Grandfather: It can't be. That's in February, I think.
Grandmother: It says it right here.
Grandfather: But it has to be in winter, because he has to see his shadow!
–7 Train
Overheard by: Daniel
