Dad: I may not be able to drive you to the sleepover at Joey’s father’s house on Friday. It’s in the opposite direction and there won’t be time. What we maybe can do is drop you off there Saturday morning. And we can have pizza ourselves, Friday night, instead. Would that work?
Little boy: It’s a distinct possibility…
–R train
Little girl: Do you have HBO DIRECTV?
Little boy: I don’t know.
Little girl: If you have HBO, you do. My favorite movie is on there: Titanic. It’s about a girl who loves a boy and they’re all frozen at the end.
Little boy: Who gets slapped?
–F train
Overheard by: stephanie k
Teen girl #1: Bitches be dissin’ on Disney Channel.
Teen girl #2: Yeah.
Teen girl #1: But you know them bitches be runnin’ home to watch That’s So Raven.
Teen girl #2: It’s 7:15.
Teen girl #1: Shit, we gonna miss it.
–4 train
Overheard by: Noah Gallagher
Crazy lady: Does anyone know how to get to the fucking G train? I need to get to a fucking job interview at 6!
Man #1: I swear it’s really not like this all the time.
Woman: What kind of job is she going for?
Man #2: I hope it’s not customer service.
Man #3: Hey baby, just follow me. I’m getting on the G right now.
Crazy lady: Go suck a dead dog’s dick.
Man #3: So what’s that taste like?
Crazy lady: A dead dog’s dick.
–4 train
Girl #1: I can’t believe you hang out with that guy…All of your friends are such losers!
Girl #2: Well, I hang out with you, don’t I?
Girl #1: I think that proves my point more than it does yours.
–77th & Columbus
Chick #1: Well most of your friends are losers anyway. Who cares what they do?
Chick #2: No, one of them’s engaged.
–F train
Overheard by: Kira
Suit: When you’re 25 and you measure your hourly rate in three digits it takes a hell of a lot of grief to not make it worthwhile.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Gabriel Stempinski
Guy: Yeah, it’s like all three of our neurons are coming together right now.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Phe
Chick: My drama teacher said that she looked like she had been fed with a shovel as a child…He was my favorite teacher.
–1 train
Overheard by: Sidra Greene
Hipster girl #1: …So now I feel really uncomfortable whenever I’m around him.
Hipster girl #2: Why? ‘Cause you had dream sex with him?
–L train
Overheard by: master overhear-er
Crazy dude: Daffy Duck is my favorite character, but Walt Disney was an anti-Semite and I’m a Jew. I used to watch cartoons but someone stole my television.
Dude #2: Daffy Duck stole your television?
Crazy dude: No. Daffy Duck is my best friend.
–F train
Overheard by: Gunner
