Hipster chick: What are you listening to?
Friend: Sarah McLachlan. Are you mad? Sometimes I listen to Jewel too.
–4 Train
Hipster chick: What are you listening to?
Friend: Sarah McLachlan. Are you mad? Sometimes I listen to Jewel too.
–4 Train
Hoochie: I’m really not looking forward to getting up at 6:30 to go to work.
Friend: Me neither. But remember: they wanted you to be a doctor.
Hoochie: Yeah, I’m doing it because they wanted me to. I’m so angry, I’m fumigating!
–Uptown 6 train
Girl #1: No, I gave it up. I don’t paint at all anymore.
Girl #2: No?
Girl #1: I never got anything at all out of it, whatsoever.
Girl #2: That’s too bad.
Girl #1: Yeah, it’s one of the most tragic things in my life.
–Manhattan-bound L train
Overheard by: Rick
Young ghetto girl: Mister, will you get that bag out of my face? That bag is in my face!
Asian man: It’s not in your face! It’s far away. Far away.
Young ghetto girl: Man, you disrespectful. That’s so disrespectful. I’ll slap the shit out of you.
–A train
Overheard by: jcm
Boyfriend: So, my buddy’s celebrating Rosh Hashanah tomorrow, and he said he’ll bring me some matzah ball soup.
Girlfriend: He’s celebrating what? And giving you what?
Boyfriend: Some Jewish holiday. Some Jewish food.
Girlfriend: Ah.
–2 train
Overheard by:
Thug #1: What is that?
Thug #2 with safe-sex gift bag: One of them dental dams.
Thug #3: What’s it taste like?
Thug #2, licking it: Mmm.
Thug #3 takes it, licks it: Mmm.
Thug #1: I swear, I need to leave you in the ghetto. Damn, can’t even take you niggas out to eat!
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: Can’t help you there
Conductor on PA: Excuse me, ma’am, maybe it would work better if you went to the next door — it’s less crowded. [Lady walks to next door, but before she gets there the conductor closes them.] Haha, bitch! Toot, toot!
–Crowded 2 train
Overheard by: CeLia
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, due to an earlier incident, all Sixth Avenue line trains are running over the Eighth Avenue line. Please be patient.
Confused tourist lady: What does that even mean? I don’t understand.
Suit: It means that if you want to take any of the trains on the orange line you transfer at the next station like normal, but instead of going downstairs you just wait on that platform for the train you want.
Middle-aged woman across aisle: They’re not orange line trains. It’s the B, the D, the F and the V. Real New Yorkers don’t call it the orange line.
Suit: Hey, lady, fuck you. There, is that New York enough for ya?
–E train approaching W 4th St
Subway conductor: It ain’t so bad. Better than going to the gas station.
–very crowded L train
Overheard by: Philip
Preschool girl: W W W.
Helpful Mom: Dot.
Preschool girl: WWW dot porn!
–Uptown 4 train
