Mother: And how do you stop the smoke from going through the crack under the door? Put… a… wet…
Toddler girl: Firefighter?
–77th & 1st
Mother: And how do you stop the smoke from going through the crack under the door? Put… a… wet…
Toddler girl: Firefighter?
–77th & 1st
Little boy: Mom! Mom, look! Mo-ooom!
Mom: What, honey?
Little boy: They have douche bags! Should we buy some for Daddy?
–Pharmacy
Overheard by: Oh really?
Chick #1: You know how people will, like, tell their parents a bunch of really horrible lies to make whatever they need to tell them seem not as bad?
Chick #2: Yeah…
Chick #1: I think that’s what I’m gonna do.
Chick #2: What’s worse than getting pregnant, dropping out of school, and moving to Jersey?
–3 train
Mom to screaming child: Now, honey, I want you to be yourself, just not to everyone.
–3rd St & Ave B
Overheard by: amanda
British mum to eight-year-old son: Bobby, stop looking at the bloody NASDAQ.
–Outside Toys ‘R’ Us
Loud lady to son: Go stand in line behind that Mexican man! Don’t let him intimidate you!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: jenmo
Dad to baby in stroller: Did you know that the price of copper is becoming irrelevant?!
–31st & Ditmars, Astoria
Overheard by: Scarfish
Father to young son: Why are you putting your butt on me?
–Brooklyn Industries, 9th & 7th
Man to son: Don’t you tell me to shut up! I just bought you a bunch of Star Wars toys!
–Macy’s
Little girl: Mommy, can I have ice cream?
Mom: No! Not until you finish your McDonald’s. Then you can have that ice cream.
–Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Ms.Zipcar
Father: Can we just go to McDonald’s for dinner?
Little girl: Dad! You know I can’t have trans-fat.
–Queens-bound 7 train
Overheard by: Patricia
Father to kids cupping statue’s penis: Come on, girls, it’s time to leave. You’ll be lesbians before you know it.
–Time Warner Center
Lesbian to pal: We could be the next big hit! Lesbians on ice!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Putting on her Ice Skating Shoes
Lesbian: You’re upset that the woman could tell we’re dykes. I’m upset that she insulted us because we’re dykes.
–16th & 1st
Drunk redhead trying to hail C train: A hot dog in the hand is worth two lesbians in the bush.
–207th St station
Hobo: Beware the lesbians! They feed at sundown!
–E/V platform, 5th Ave
Dad: How about pizza for lunch?
Four-year-old boy: No, I think we need to eat something healthier than pizza.
Dad: But it’s really healthy. See, it has all those tomatoes on it.
–Pinnacle
Tourist dad: Kids, you have pay attention when we’re in the big city, ’cause…
Daughter: ‘Cause if you don’t you die?
Dad: No, you could get lost and then you’ll become a street person.
–Central Park South
Child: Look, Mommy, that lady looks like Daddy’s computer.
Mother: Which one?
Child: The one he has in his office.
–Seaman & Cumming
