30-something black chick #1, trying on leopard print heels: I don’t know… I’m getting a serious whore vibe from these shoes.
30-something black chick #2: Yes, but it’s an attractive whore.
30-something black chick #1: Right… Whore is the new black.
–Upscale shoe store, Midtown
Woman: She was a total skank.
Man: Yeah…
Woman: But still, I’m surprised she’s having a baby. Never saw it coming.
Man: Don’t think anyone did.
–Vincent’s, Mott St
Teen chick #1: So, what? Are you sick of all us girls now?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Teen chick #2: Why, because you’ve hooked up with all of us?
Teen boy: Yeah.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Dude #1: If I was the last man on earth, I would die of exhaustion from banging too much!
Dude #2: If I was the last man on earth, I’d die of AIDS from banging too much.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Rich
Headline by: Syd O
Runners-Up:
· “And his guidance counselor said he wasn’t goal oriented…” – Marc
· “Apparently the apocalypse is a lot like New York in the 80s.” – julian
· “But as long as there’s even one other man left, they’re both safe” – Not buying it
· “Either Way, He’d Be Fucked!” – Hobo Whisperer
· “How is that any different then now.” – Kaleena
· “If you were the last man on earth, we’d all be lesbians” – Tam
· “If I’m goin’ everyone else is coming with me” – Botticus
· “If you were the last man on earth, I’d die from banging my head against a wall” – Becky
· “It’s a catch simplex 2.” – Vin
· “Oh yeah? If I were the last man on Earth, I’d die of whatever killed the other guys!” – Chris
· “Only After All the Batteries Are Gone” – Lush
· “The Planet Of All Women Drivers, I Know How I Would Die” – berger inferno
Big white dyke: You know what we should do? We should call Hugh and all our slutty friends. They could all come over and get drunk, and we’d put on some rap.
Big black dyke: What?
Big white dyke: No, seriously, I was at my friends’ party and we put on a Biggie Smalls album. Fifteen minutes later it was the sleaziest party I’ve ever been to.
–Brooklyn bound Q
Overheard by: Benjamin
Tween girl: Mom you’re not a tease if you give it up, you’re a slut. Jesse’s a slut, I’m a tease.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: S-dawg
Schoolgirl #1: You know that tall short blond girl?
Schoolgirl #2: You just described about 250 girls in our school.
Schoolgirl #1: Um… the one who isn’t a whore.
Schoolboy: That narrows it down to about five.
–Manhattan bound F train
Overheard by: Fareeda
Biker lady: You think I have syphilis? Hah!
–Hudson River running path, 38th St
Overheard by: lukejoy
Girl on cell: I know! She was, like, so defensive about it! Like, “So he impregnated me; at least I didn’t get herpes.” I was like, “Honey, is that really a fair trade?”
–A train
Overheard by: claire
Ghetto teen: You know, like 90 percent of all people have herpes. That’s like 1 in every 3 people.
–Suffolk & Rivington
Girl: I know, when I first got chlamydia, I didn’t know who to turn to. Luckily I got it from my doctor.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Jerringo Nationpess
Old lady, during a Clerks II scene dealing with “ass to mouth,” to old man: That’s how you get E. coli!
–Movie theater, 86th & 3rd
Overheard by: katey
Queer on cell: I’m not saying he’s a nasty faggot. I’m just saying he has HIV.
–5th Ave between 4th and 5th, Park Slope
Overheard by: Gus
Guy on cell: So I went to Amsterdam and got a handjob from a hooker, and I thought I had HIV for, like, two years…Yeah, I’m a pretty weird guy.
–Whole Foods, Chelsea
Mother: It’s ok, honey.
Teenager: I just feel like a slut.
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: DaFunk
Guy on cell: My doctor told me if you piss right after sex, you can’t get STDs…Yeah, I do it all the time.
–Suffolk & Rivington
Overheard by: John
Loud teen girl: Wait, you had a dream that you had AIDS? That I had AIDS? Fuck you, man.
–Brighton Beach, Brooklyn
Chick on cell: I know it’s sick, but I’m so excited that I can have unsafe sex now!
–23rd Street & Broadway
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Concerned citizen: Excuse me, I don’t know if this is a trans-generational or New York metropolitan faux pas, but you should really tell your friend, girlfriend, lady friend or whatever that one in every four persons in America has herpes.
–sushi restaurant, 1st Ave
Overheard by: Caitlyn
