College freshman: I think I’m going to minor in Accounting. Does that sound good?
Friend: Well, do you like stuff like that?
College freshman: Wait… What is Accounting?
Friend: It’s, like, spreadsheets.
College freshman: Oh, cool.
–PATH
College freshman: I think I’m going to minor in Accounting. Does that sound good?
Friend: Well, do you like stuff like that?
College freshman: Wait… What is Accounting?
Friend: It’s, like, spreadsheets.
College freshman: Oh, cool.
–PATH
Tall B&T girl: So then we made out and were all over each other and it was all PDA, and then we lost our virginities to each other. And I felt guilty because I was, like, 18, and he was, like, a minor.
Short B&T girl: Well how old was he?
Tall B&T girl: (silence)
Short B&T girl: Come on, most guys are like 15 when they lose their virginity.
Tall B&T girl: He was thirteen.
Short B&T girl: Oh.
–75th & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Man on street #1: Yeah, so when I called her…wait, where are you going?
Man on street #2: I'm just going to walk over here into this shadow and pour myself a beer…don't stop talking, I'm still listening!
–11th St & Ave B
Overheard by: Virginia
Drunk kid: Have you ever seen Asian female nipples?
Asian kid: What?
Drunk kid: I mean, not your own.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Evil
Lady #1: Excuse me, do you have nine quarters for a dollar?
Lady #2: Nine quarters? Do I look like an idiot?!
–Times Square
Photographer: Where are you from?
Tourist: Holland.
Photographer: Oh…so you are used to seeing boobs. But here…it's a big deal.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: dirty mike
NYU student #1: Hey, who made Donatello’s David?
NYU student #2: Wasn’t it Michelangelo?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: B McSea
Soccer mom: I dropped a twenty dollar bill last time I was in here, like, two weeks ago. Did anybody find it and turn it in?
Cashier: Ya know, we’ve gotten so many twenties turned in this month, you’re going to have to identify yours. Whats the serial number?
–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Veronica at www.lonelyroadsandpsychopaths.com
Lady: I hate it when lawyers ask the same questions twice.
Clerk: Yeah, I know.
Lady: No matter how you rephrase it, the answer is still the same.
Clerk, laughing: Yeah.
Lady: I tell you: book smart, a little dense.
–Court Building, Centre St
Fashionista to another: It didn’t taste that good, but I really needed the money.
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: John Galt Jr.
Fashion student: The thing I can’t stand about fine arts is how obsessed with money it’s become… Yeah, so I’m leaving the program to study advertising.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: nova scotia
Security guard to another: I ain’t here for the money. I’m here for the fuckin’ prestige.
–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Amber Star
White chick on cell: Hi, honey! How are you? Are you being tickled by coins? Are you being tickled by coins?!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: mela
Guy on corner: Can you spare any change or frequent flyer miles?
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Scientific
Frumpy lady to Joey Ramone lookalike: I’m feeling awfully constipated, baby! Constipated with money is the way I like to be!
–3rd Ave, Bay Ridge
