Drunk hobo boarding train: Hey, is this uptown or downtown?
Girl: It’s the…
Drunk hobo: Fuck it! Lets go!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tiffany
Drunk hobo boarding train: Hey, is this uptown or downtown?
Girl: It’s the…
Drunk hobo: Fuck it! Lets go!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tiffany
(little boy has a Hot Wheels car and he's rolling it all over everything around him)
Boy: Mom, can I roll it on your head?
Mom: No, you'll mess up my hair.
Boy: Your arms?
Mom: Yeah, sure.
Boy: Your chest?
Mom: No, that's not appropriate.
Boy: Okay…your nipples?
Mom: That's definitely not appropriate.
Boy (disappointed): Aaww…
–6 Train
Overheard by: 1-800-mattres
Middle aged woman #1: Did you know turtles only use their penises for mating, not peeing?
Middle aged woman #2: Oh, really? Cool!
–Lexington Ave
Girl: Do you like MIA?
Guy: I don't know, what are some of his songs?
–1st Ave & 3rd St
Overheard by: Jork
Queer Sales Associate, at promotion for Vera Wang Princess perfume: Are you a princess?
Girl: No
Queer Sales Associate: Then what are you?
Girl: A sex goddess, bitch.
–1st Floor, Macy’s
Overheard by: Isabelle
Guy trying to pick up girl: So where are you from?
Girl: Iowa.
Guy: Oh, man! My family and I almost moved there…but it sucked, so we moved to Florida instead.
Girl: Oh.
–Park Ave & 33rd St
Fordham freshman girl to others: So how far is it from Fordham road to Bloomingdale's?
Black passer-by: Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla! I love white girls!
Fordham freshman girl: Let's take a cab.
–Fordham Road
Sixth grader: Wait, I don’t understand. When you have oral sex you don’t take off your clothes, so how can you get AIDS?
Student teacher: Ummm…
–University Neighborhood Middle School
Overheard by: face
Asian girl to friend: You know her! She’s the Asian girl — you know, the one with the eyes!
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Chuckles
Little boy about Japanese man: Mom, how come that man is closing his eyes all the time?!
–Liberty St
Overheard by: galgal
Emo Asian boy: You can recover from drug or alcohol addictions, but there is no cure for Asianism.
–Weinstein Dining Hall, NYU
Drunk Asian man: Did you see that mosaic? It’s all wrong. The Asians were all one shade of yellow. What kind of art work is that? Look at me and my people — we’re multiple shades!
–R train
20-something woman: Being an Asian and being a tranny aren’t the same thing.
–Dallas BBQ, Chelsea
Overheard by: Ladle
50-something lady to 30-something daughter: I really want Japanese food.
30-something daughter: Where do you wanna go?
50-something lady: I see Japanese people in that restaurant. It must be sushi… what's it called?
30-something daughter: Nick's Pizza.
–Fortest Hills
Overheard by: Godzirra
