Sixth grader: Wait, I don’t understand. When you have oral sex you don’t take off your clothes, so how can you get AIDS?
Student teacher: Ummm…
–University Neighborhood Middle School
Overheard by: face
Sixth grader: Wait, I don’t understand. When you have oral sex you don’t take off your clothes, so how can you get AIDS?
Student teacher: Ummm…
–University Neighborhood Middle School
Overheard by: face
Asian girl to friend: You know her! She’s the Asian girl — you know, the one with the eyes!
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Chuckles
Little boy about Japanese man: Mom, how come that man is closing his eyes all the time?!
–Liberty St
Overheard by: galgal
Emo Asian boy: You can recover from drug or alcohol addictions, but there is no cure for Asianism.
–Weinstein Dining Hall, NYU
Drunk Asian man: Did you see that mosaic? It’s all wrong. The Asians were all one shade of yellow. What kind of art work is that? Look at me and my people — we’re multiple shades!
–R train
20-something woman: Being an Asian and being a tranny aren’t the same thing.
–Dallas BBQ, Chelsea
Overheard by: Ladle
50-something lady to 30-something daughter: I really want Japanese food.
30-something daughter: Where do you wanna go?
50-something lady: I see Japanese people in that restaurant. It must be sushi… what's it called?
30-something daughter: Nick's Pizza.
–Fortest Hills
Overheard by: Godzirra
Guy #1: Is this Broadway and Houston?
Guy #2: Yes. I think we're in SoHo.
Guy #3: No, this is just Ho.
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: NewYorkerNick
Female friend at bar: Why can't I find a man?
Male friend at bar: Why do I date nutjobs?
Female friend at bar: I'd take a nutjob… (long pause) Hell, I'd take a man with one nut!
–The Half Pint, W 3rd St
Overheard by: macdaddynyc
College freshman: I think I’m going to minor in Accounting. Does that sound good?
Friend: Well, do you like stuff like that?
College freshman: Wait… What is Accounting?
Friend: It’s, like, spreadsheets.
College freshman: Oh, cool.
–PATH
Tall B&T girl: So then we made out and were all over each other and it was all PDA, and then we lost our virginities to each other. And I felt guilty because I was, like, 18, and he was, like, a minor.
Short B&T girl: Well how old was he?
Tall B&T girl: (silence)
Short B&T girl: Come on, most guys are like 15 when they lose their virginity.
Tall B&T girl: He was thirteen.
Short B&T girl: Oh.
–75th & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Man on street #1: Yeah, so when I called her…wait, where are you going?
Man on street #2: I'm just going to walk over here into this shadow and pour myself a beer…don't stop talking, I'm still listening!
–11th St & Ave B
Overheard by: Virginia
Drunk kid: Have you ever seen Asian female nipples?
Asian kid: What?
Drunk kid: I mean, not your own.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Evil
Lady #1: Excuse me, do you have nine quarters for a dollar?
Lady #2: Nine quarters? Do I look like an idiot?!
–Times Square
