Student #1, looking at financial data: Oh, crap, the dollar went down again.
Student #2: Why do you care if the dollar goes down?
Student #1: Because I want to go to Canada and pay less for strippers.
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: Yasha
Student #1, looking at financial data: Oh, crap, the dollar went down again.
Student #2: Why do you care if the dollar goes down?
Student #1: Because I want to go to Canada and pay less for strippers.
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: Yasha
Teenage thug #1: Yo, dude! On Oprah there was this guy who was preggers, fucking crazy man!
(pause)
Teenage thug #2: You watch Oprah?
–LaGuardia High School
Girl: You have a rubber, right?
Guy (in Darth Vader voice): I find your lack of faith disturbing…
–Washington Square Park
Hobo: Sixty. Sixty, sixty, sixty, sixty!
Fellow passenger: Sixty?
Hobo: No.
–E Train
Voter #1: How does this work? Which line do I stand in?
Voter #2: This line is the first half of the alphabet, a through m. That line over there is the second half of the alphabet, n through…whatever.
–Polling Place, Inwood
Overheard by: Jess
Rollerblading hipster #1: Do you know what the worst part of rollerblading is?
Rollerblading hipster #2: What?
Rollerblading hipster #1: Having to tell your parents you're gay…
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Ditzy chick: So are you even hungry at all?
Ditzy skinny chick: Not really, no.
Ditzy chick: I can't believe you haven't eaten in nine days!
Ditzy skinny chick (excitedly): I know!! I can't believe some people do this for 30 days, though. I think that's unhealthy.
Ditzy chick: I wish I could've done it with you. It was just a bad week to start, I was too stressed to not eat.
Ditzy skinny chick: It's okay. This is my second try, anyway. I couldn't follow the program the first time either. Although I'm gonna have a hard time on Friday. I have a date. When he takes me to dinner what am I gonna say? “Thank you, but I can't order anything tonight. Can I just have one bite of your pasta?”?
–M101 Bus
Overheard by: Alayne
Guy selling CDs: Do you want my CDs?
Girl walking by: No, thank you.
Guy selling CDs: Why? I haven't shot anyone yet.
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Mogan
Conductor at subway door yelling at guy in suit: Stop holding the subway door.
Guy in suit: Want to take off your belt and beat me?
–E Train
Overheard by: Fellow Subway Rider
Upbeat mom to seven and nine-year-old daughters: And then we'll go to the family garden and then we'll go to the children's garden!
Elder daughter (sighing): And then can we go shopping?
–Botanical Garden
Headline by: sam
Runners-Up:
· “Because We’re Almost Out Of Entitlement and Materialism” – Dana Lishs
· “Children Are the REAL Inconvenient Truth…” – Bojo
· “Meet America’s Greatest Patriot” – KateNonymous
· “Where We Can Sow Money and Reap Prada” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “Why the Hilton Sisters Like Daddy More” – Brittlee
