Race

Just Be Glad It Wasn’t Blackface

(goth chick runs down the street shrieking, followed by her hipster-chick friend with tiger face paint)
Young black girl #1: What’s happening?
Young black girl #2: Yeah, what’s with all the crazy white people?

–St Marks & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Tigertail

Headline by: chrissmari

Runners-Up:
· “How Young Oprah Got the Idea for Her Show” – Doug
· “Let’s Go Back to Harlem Where It’s Safe” – Caitlin
· “Obama Better Fix That Shit His First Day” – Steve J
· “The Little-Known Eighth Sign Of the Apocalypse” – samson
· “Wait Until You Meet Dennis Rodman” – Aussie_Girl

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Everybody Hates Being Outvictimized

(Native American cop is arresting a black man)
Black man: Fuckin’ discrimination, man! Leave me the fuck alone! I ain’t done nothin wrong!
Native American Cop: Fuck you! We were oppressed first!
Black man: Apache motherfucker!

–82nd St, Queens

Overheard by: Lea

We’ve Learned to Embrace Our Bigotry

Ghetto Hispanic guy #1: So where are you ladies coming from?
Uninterested girl #1: That hipster party.
Ghetto Hispanic guy #2: Yo, we were there too!
Ghetto Hispanic guy #3: But ya’ll probably didn’t notice us ’cause we’re Hispanic.
Uninterested girl #2: Yeah, that sounds like us.

–Lorillard & 189th

Was He a Baby?

Teenage girl #1: I’m sure there’s at least one West African child that isn’t heavily inebriated!
Teenage girl #2: Ya, I knew one once, he was a really bad fuck.

–112th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ema O’Connor

If It’s Any Comfort, I’ll Blush Every Time I Remember This Conversation

Black girl: I’m not voting. I’m from Illinois and I never registered to get an absentee ballot.
White guy: Well, Obama’s clearly going to win there, anyway. (pause) Oh, wait… No, I didn’t mean…
Black girl: No, it’s okay, you’re right, I would have voted for him.
White guy: But that’s not why I… It wasn’t the black thing, it was the NYU thing.

–NYU Silver Center

You Also Said That About the Hotel Concierge and Our Cabbie

Old woman: Take a picture of me with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and their son.
Young woman: Mom, the black kid isn’t a wax figure.
Old woman: Well, she just keeps adopting them, I thought it was her son!

–Madame Tussaud’s

Overheard by: Julie

The Only Circumstance Under Which White Men Jump

Crowd watching Indiana Jones trailer: Yeah! Woo hoo!
Young black guy (legitimately surprised): Damn! That whip drives the white folks crazy!

–Court Street Multiplex, Brooklyn

Overheard by: iiams

He’ll Give Me a Glass Slipper. I’ll Think It’s a Hat. We’ll Laugh and Laugh

Black girl #1: I wanna date a white boy. One that looks like a skater.
Black girl #2: No, not me. I want an intellectual, so I could act all ignorant around him and he’d still love me.

–158th & St Nicks

Overheard by: jay r.

I’ve Heard They Have Over 100 Different Words for It

Girl: I never read Ragtime.
Guy: Really? I enjoyed it very much.
Girl: Well, I tried to read it, but my older sister saw me with it and freaked. She took it away and was all “There are Eskimos masturbating in this!”
Guy: Well, they need to have fun too, you know.

–Stuyvesant High School

So She Managed to Drive Over to His Place Without Incident

Girl #1: So did Michelle* go out with Tom* yet?
Girl #2: She’s not Asian.

–Times Square

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