Stupidity

Woman in McDonald’s: “…and they were conversating about…”

Actor speaking on his cell phone on the subway: “I’m starring in a play called Andorra, about a fictional country in Europe.”

Patron: What kind of sauce is on the linguine alla marinara?

–Olive Garden, Chelsea

Overheard by: Brad Palmertree

Customer: Do you have a recording of Astrud Gilberto singing, “The Girl from Emphysema?”

–Times Square

Woman: Do you have a non-fiction section?
Book guy: Well, everything that’s not fiction is non-fiction. [Over] there’s cooking, and there’s history.
Woman: No, that’s not what I asked. Do you have a section for non-fiction?
Book guy: Well, there are no non-fiction novels. Everything here that’s not a novel is non-fiction.
Woman: But you don’t have a non-fiction section?
Book guy: No. Everything that isn’t fiction is non-fiction.

–Barnes & Noble, Staten Island

Overheard by: Dr. Ballon

Teenage guy: Dude, I just coughed up a little speck of blood. Do you think I could have another cigarette or is that a bad idea?

–68th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Cully

Bimbo: So are you ever going to move back to Europe?
Eurotrash: I was thinking about that a couple of times when I was really, really depressed in LA. American culture is such a product of the country.

–Soho

British Woman: So, what’s the purpose of the Empire State Building again?
British Man: It’s a sign of American power.

–Empire State Building

Overheard by: Katherine O’Brien

Little Italian Guy: I’ll bet this whole building weighs at least a thousand pounds.

–Empire State Building (365,000 tons)

Overheard by: Stomach Aches

Girl: Salma Hayek is part Mexican and part Syrian.
Guy: She’s cesarean? Ain’t that a disease?

–7 Train

Overheard by: LugoLounge

Strand Guy: Hey, John! How are you?
John: Seven days, man. Seven days.
Strand Guy: Hopefully the world will be safe for democracy.
John: I dunno. Halliburton has some no bid contracts.
Strand Guy: You believe that?!
John: Yeah.

–Strand Basement