Talking/Convos

So Should I Just Throw Out These Carnations?

Hobo: What’s the best in the nation? Hey you, what’s the best in the nation?
Guy: The best what?
Hobo: In the nation. What’s the best in the nation?
Girl #1: The best what in the nation?
Hobo: You know, like country.
Girl #1: Oh, you mean what’s the best country?
Hobo: Yeah. Nation.
Girl #1: The United States!
Hobo: Wrong!
Girl #2: Red Sox nation!
Hobo: Wrong!
Guy: Nigeria?
Hobo: Wrong! The best in the nation…the best nation is a donation! Gimme a nickel.

–2nd Avenue & 7th Street

Overheard by: Carmen Nobel

Careful, You Might Get a Ticket

Guy: If you could marry Dave Matthews right now, would you?
Girl: Yeah, I would; I would piss on his face!
Guy: What?
Girl: Yeah, I heard he likes that.

–John & Gold

Overheard by: Jon Margolis

They’d Love This at Metropolitan Diary

Man #1: Hey, did you hear they’re remaking The Poseidon Adventure?
Man #2: Really? Are they going to get anyone from the original? Is Shelley Winters in it?
Man #3: Yeah. She plays the boat.

–Film Forum, Houston Street

Overheard by: JP

Buster Poindexter is Spinning in His Grave

Girl: Who’s that on your t-shirt?
Guy: Well, it says “New York Dolls”…
Girl: Is that Led Zeppelin?
Guy: Um, no, it’s the New York fucking Dolls!
Girl: Asshole.

–Beauty Bar, East 14th Street

Wednesday One-liners Are Quick to Thrown Down

Little girl: I’m tired of thinking about ponies! Now it’s time to kill!

–Park Slope

But What About the Sandbox?

Guy #1: Isn’t that the Norwegian metal band where the drummer is eight and he killed the lead singer?
Guy #2: No, the drummer ate the lead singer.

–1st Avenue & 6th Street

Don’t Be Mad at Him; Be Mad at Newton

A man is stumbling down the street. He trips, falls hard and hits his head on the ground.

Guy: Sir, excuse me, are you okay? You just fell really hard.
Man: …Fuck you.

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: The L0rdz

“…and where’s that pepper bar like in your ads?”

Woman: I want a vanilla coffee creme.
Barista chick: I can get you a cup of plain coffee with vanilla
syrup, and you can put the milk in over there. Unless you want a
latte or something?
Woman: What’s a latte?
Barista chick: It’s espresso with milk.
Woman: Oh, espresso! I think that’s a little strong… What about a cappuccino? Do they have those here?

–Starbuck, West 4th Street & Washington Square East

The Sun Has Finally Set on the British Empire

Copygirl: UK?
Chick: The United Kingdom.
Copygirl: The United Kingdom? Where’s that? Hey, Joyce! Where’s the United Kingdom?
Chick: …England. In Europe.
Copygirl: But I don’t see it here. British Columbia, Quebec, British
Isles, but no United Kingdom.

–Kinko’s, Duane Street

Overheard by: Jess McGins

That’s What’s On His Business Cards

Tween girl #1: So like apparently my brother is engaged.
Tween girl #2: Really? Since when?
Tween girl #1: I dunno, found out at breakfast this morning.
Tween girl #2: Didn’t he like just finish high school?
Tween girl #1: Yeah, but she’s like still 17 and she’s got a two year old so she’s way worse off than him.
Tween girl #2: Well is it his kid?
Tween girl #1: Who knows? He’s not tellin’.
Tween girl #2: Probably is…what a man-ho slut wedder.

–F train

Overheard by: Supertramp

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