Chick #1: What street are we getting off at again?
Chick #2: 59th street.
Chick #1: I hope we are on the right train.
Chick #2: Of course we are. I think it’s the next stop.
Conductor: This is 72nd street, transfer to the 1,2,3 trains–
Chick #1: There’s the express. Should we switch trains?
Chick #2: No, we’ll switch at 50th street.
–Uptown #9 train
Overheard by: Marc
Commuter: Are there delays?
Token booth collector: No ma’am, there are no delays at this station.
Commuter: Then why are there more people than trains?
–Fulton Street station
White guy: I’m a pretty liberal-minded guy. I don’t consider myself prejudiced or anything…
White girl: But..?
White guy: But I really don’t like Polish people. I mean, I can’t help it, I just don’t.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Kristen
Dowager: What we really need to do is to educate these poor people so they don’t have sex. It’s the poor people who keep spreading all the STDs and the AIDS. Do you know any rich people with STDs? I didn’t think so.
–MoMA cafe
Lady #1: I can’t believe she said those things. She was so politically incorrect.
Lady #2: Well what did you expect her to say?
Lady #1: Something humanly correct.
–Shubert Theatre, 44th Street
Girl #1: She’s so lucky. I mean, she works for Oscar de la Renta.
Girl #2: Yeah, and she has a clause in her pre-nup that allows her husband to divorce her if her feet become disgusting. I’m jealous.
–Fashion Ave. elevator
Woman #1: Oh God, I think I’m getting a horrible yeast infection.
Woman #2: Making bagels down there, huh?
Woman #1: Oh no, I’m not Jewish. I’m making Irish Soda Bread.
–Penn Station
Girl #1: I have nothing green to wear on Thursday.
Girl #2: What do you mean, you don’t own any green? You’re Irish! Green is our color! Along with beer.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
A record company assistant is flirting with an older music executive. She asks: Do you have a girlfriend?
He responds by holding out his hand with fingers extended to show his wedding band.
Assistant: You have five girlfriends?
–Joe’s Pub
Woman #1: I told my family that if I get old and can’t take care of myself to hire me a…
Woman #2: A male nurse.
Woman #1: … a young, good-looking boy.
Woman #2: A male nurse.
Woman #1: Specifically for the purpose of giving me a sponge bath.
Woman #2: I have a funny story about that.
–Park Plaza Diner, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: TG
Guy: Where do you live again?
Girl: Right over there.
Guy: Can I walk you home?
Girl: But it’s right over there…
–Orchard Street
Old guy: I’d like two tickets to Times Square please.
Booth lady: What?
Old guy: Two for Times Square please!
–Whitehall Street station
