Girl: Are you a conservative or a liberal?
Guy: I know all teenagers are supposed to be liberal, but I’m pretty conservative.
Girl: Oh my god, I know exactly what you mean. I was conservative until last week when I saw V for Vendetta. How hot is Natalie Portman?
–Bronx High School of Science
Teen girl #1: Do you ever have to fart really badly in class?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, like today. I ate a PowerBar and I’ve had to shit like crazy so I keep farting.
Teen girl #1: But you can’t do it in class ’cause then it smells and people know it’s you.
Teen girl #2: You can stick dryer sheets in your pants and then it doesn’t smell as much.
Teen girl #3: But how do you keep them in there?
Teen girl #2: Well, if your pants are tight enough, where they gonna go?
Teen girl #1: Or sometimes you can ask to go to the bathroom and when you stand up your ass cheeks squeeze together and you can’t fart.
Teen girl #2: But in the two seconds before you’re standing you can’t control it, then you fart.
Teen girl #1: Damn it, I have to take a shit.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
Guy: Are you going to the gym after this?
Girl: Are you going to the mean house?
Guy: That was, without a doubt, the lamest comeback I have ever heard in my life.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jessica R
Girl #1: Why you holding yo’ nose? We all know it smells like piss in here.
Girl #2: I know it smells like piss, I just don’ wanna pick anything else up into my lungs.
Girl #1: You jus’ wiling cause of the piss smell.
Girl #2: Please, the elevator in my building smells like piss. In fact, in my building, I can tell you the apartment number of who pissed in the elevator.
–Fordham Metro-North station elevator
Bag lady: Hey, you guys, can you help me out? I’m really hungry!…You need a dye job, you know! Your roots are showing.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Drew
Teen boy: Somewhere out there…someone is getting laid.
–Empire State Building
Girl: Did you see those capris? They looked like the girl had her vagina on sideways!
–Windsor Terrace
Tween girl: The thing most people don’t get about techno is, it’s so emotional.
–76th & 2nd
Overheard by: Rachel
Receptionist lady: Don’t you be sayin’ my whole name; I’m on America’s Most Wanted!
–NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, West 168th Street
Overheard by: supermerm
Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it.
–45th & Lexington
Overheard by: No, not her
