Tourist: Is that train going to 18th street?
New Yorker: Yes.
Doors close.
New Yorker: But you’re not.
–Union Square Station, 4/5/6 platform
Overheard by: amused MD
Tourist: Is that train going to 18th street?
New Yorker: Yes.
Doors close.
New Yorker: But you’re not.
–Union Square Station, 4/5/6 platform
Overheard by: amused MD
Guy: Excuse me, miss. Excuse me. Excuse me! Woman, move!
Girl: Dude, I’m not a tourist.
Guy: Oh. Sorry.
–59th St & Lex
Sketchy Guy in trenchcoat: Hey, you ladies want some juice?
Girl #1: Oh my god! He just tried to sell me drugs! One day in New York, and some guy tries to sell me drugs. This is awesome!!
Girl #2: Baby, I think he’s coming on to you.
Girl #1: Oh, you sick bastard!
–43rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Angie
Bostonian Girl: I need to get clothes for the city.
Bostonian Guy: What’s wrong with what you have?
Bostonian Girl: Are you kidding? We’re in New York City, you can’t wear North Face in NYC. They’ll be able to tell we’re New Englanders from a mile away.
–Fordham University
Stoner: La la la babyyy hey hey! I lovee it today! All we wanna do is smoke weeed and get drunk and be CRAZZZYYYY! La la la!
Tourist teen to friend: See, this is why we should move to New York–we’d look like normal people here.
–Central Park
European tourist: I have my spoon!
Table of friends: What?!
European tourist: I have my spoon!
Table of friends: Um…you mean umbrella?
–Hudson Corner Café
Overheard by: Thompson
Tourist girl #1: You didn’t want to go to the Star, the Times Square or the Roxy… so what are we supposed to eat for lunch?
Tourist girl #2: Well, I don’t care, but none of these French food places.
Tourist girl #1: French food?
Tourist girl #2: Yeah, all these places are delicatessens… That’s French food!
Tourist girl #1: No, it’s like sandwiches and stuff!
Tourist girl#2: Then why don’t they just call it a deli?
–Outside the Roxy Deli, Times Square
Overheard by: Laura
Guy accepting donations: Help feed the homeless! Even terrorists can help feed the homeless!
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: sugar ray mcgrath
Hobo: If you see an unattended bag or package, please report it to the nearest New York Police Officer or MTA worker. If one is not around, tell me. I’ll open that shit up.
–4 train, Fulton St
Overheard by: Laura
Hobo, to tourist family taking group photo: Terrorist! Terrorist! Terrorist!
–C Train, 72nd St
Overheard by: Barry P.
British tourist: But there were two Empire State buildings, right? That fell?
–WTC site
Overheard by: J Bird
Girl: Last night, I was so drunk I forgot about 9/11.
–NYU
Overheard by: Bronwyn
Lady to nervous woman: Can I ask you a question? I ain’t a terrorist or nothin’. I’m from New Haven.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fudd
British bloke: You mean they don’t have any missiles here, in Manhattan?
–Grand & Broadway
Overheard by: jcm
Guy: Hey, come and see this comedy show for free! You can get drunk.
Tourist girl: We’re not over twenty-one.
Guy: Man, this is New York! We don’t card! Fuck the government!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Andi
WASP: Do you know if they’re putting on an express train for the US Open?
Tourist: Um, no, but that’s where I’m going, too.
WASP: I know, that’s why I asked you.
Tourist: How did you know that’s where I’m going?
WASP: Because you’re white. Why else would you be going to Queens?
–7 train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Tennis Fan
