You Can Always Count on New Yorkers to Immediately Break a Situation Down to the Essentials

Tall tourist: Hey, they just said Union Square; is that our stop?
Big-Haired tourist: Our stop is 5th Street.
Conductor: The next stop will be 8th Street.
Doe-Eyed tourist: Is that our stop?
Big-Haired tourist: Our stop is 5th Street.
New Yorker #1: There isn’t a stop for 5th Street.
Big-Haired tourist: Then how do we get to Central Park?
New Yorker #2: You should get off and go the other way– 5th Avenue.
New Yorker #3, as doors open at 8th Street: But wait until Canal. Otherwise you’ll have to pay the 2 bucks to get back on the train.

Big-Haired tourist wanders off the train without his tourist counterparts.

Doe-Eyed tourist, as the doors are closing: Wait. Why did he get off?
Tall tourist, to doors: Open up.
New Yorker #2, as the train pulls away: Do you have cell phones?
Tall tourist: No, ma’am.
New Yorker #4: Well, at least his hair looked good.

–Downtown R train

Overheard by: good lord, the tourists are in season

Posted on August 7, 2006
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Tourists, White People

Oh, Just Like You Bringing Me to Orgasm?

Texan mom: It says here that the French gave this statue as a gift.
Texan dad: Ain’t no way France coulda sent that. They ain’t got no boat big enough.
Texan mom: But it says here…
Texan dad: Ain’t possible means ain’t possible. Gittit?

–Liberty Island

Overheard by: Colman

Posted on August 5, 2006
Foreigners, Gifts, History & Geography, Marriage, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, People, Rednecks, Sex & Relationships, Southerners, Statue of Liberty, Topics, Tourism, Tourist Attractions, Tourists, Venues

Wednesday One-Liners Tape It to Their Leg When They Play Sports

Tourist girl: Oh my God! That bum, his balls are showing! I’ll give you twenty bucks if you go up to him and say, “Excuse me, sir, but your balls are hanging out.”

–Penn Station

Overheard by: mb

Guy: Yeah, there is this great picture of me taken a while ago. I am sitting on the couch with just my boxers on and I am all ripped and I look really good except no one pays attention to how good I look because you can see my nut sack is hanging out.

–49th & 10th

Overheard by: Grace Tydwr

Posted on August 2, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Balls, Hobos, Penn Station, Tourists

Wednesday One-Liners Are Legends in Their Own Minds

Girl: I think Elvis died on my birthday…No, wait, Elvis died on Madonna’s birthday. Why do I always get that confused?

–36th St

Geeky guy: Dudes, we are staying at the Bellagio. That gives us instant credibility.

–Jet Blue Terminal, JFK

Overheard by: Dungy

Posted on July 26, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Birthdays, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Guys, Money & Class, One-liners, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, Wednesday One-Liners

‘Please’? What the Fuck is That, Some New Hipster Insult?

Conductor: All right, people, there is six hundred feet of train. Let’s try to use more than one door, please.
Tourist: Well that was rude.

–Downtown F train, 42nd St

Posted on July 25, 2006
Conductors, Etiquette, On the Subway, Tourists

They’re Great With Toe Jam and Peter’s Foot Skin

Tourist #1, looking at sign: What is a bunion?
Tourist #2: It sounds like something you can eat.
Tourist #1: Like an onion bun?
Tourist #2: Yeah, like that.
Tourist #1: Mmm, that makes me hungry. Let’s get some food when we get off the train.

–2 train

Overheard by: dubs

Posted on July 24, 2006
Food, Idiots, On the Subway, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Tourists, Words

It’s Okay– It’s His Job to Stand There

Tourist man: Pardon me, officer, can you tell us where Orchard Street is?
Cop: See that naked Chinese guy?
Tourist man: Ummm…Yeah.
Cop: Walk down to him and make a left.
Tourist man: Um, thanks.
Cop: No problem.

–Delancey & Allen

Overheard by: Isaac

Posted on July 16, 2006
Cops, Directions, Tourists, Union Square and East Village

Rude Would Have Been Kinder

New Yorker: Coney Island is fun if you like that stuff. I mean, there’s a lot of nationalities down there so their accents are all…They talk like the Sopranos. Do you know about the Sopranos?
Tourist: Um.

–R Train, 28th St

Overheard by: Nick McDowell