Girl: Wow, look at all these vegetables and things.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: This is great! We should come here all the time.
Guy: I think my testicles are falling off.
–Union Square
Girl: Wow, look at all these vegetables and things.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: This is great! We should come here all the time.
Guy: I think my testicles are falling off.
–Union Square
Guy: Do you have Bareback Mountain?
–The Strand
Girl: I can’t stop thinking about having sex with you.
Guy: Uh, aren’t you being a little loud about that?
–University & 8th
Overheard by: Lauren
A couple walks by holding hands, a tall man and a short woman.
Chick: What’s with the Wookie-Ewok love?
Guy: Dude, that’s harsh.
–13th & University
Girl: You know her, she’s making stuff up again!
Crazy woman: Hey! Did you just call me Chewbacca?
–1 train
Overheard by: poptart
Girl #1: …so he’d just sit in the back of the room jerking off and nobody could say anything because he was special.
Girl #2: Let me get this straight: he couldn’t control his motorized wheelchair but he could beat off?
Girl #1: Where there’s a will there’s a way.
–Tisch School of the Arts, Broadway & Waverly
Overheard by: D
Girl #1: Oh no, I can feel my pulse in my neck!
Girl #2: You can always feel your pulse in your neck, douchebag.
Girl #1: No, but it’s, like, really strong.
–Washington Square Park
Bag lady: I have osteoporosis.
Hobo: Ostoprognosis? Is that serious?
Bag lady: Well, I might die from it. It makes you boneless. I have no bones. Like a Perdue chicken.
Hobo: So it turns you into a skeleton!
–2 train
Guy: I wish I could turn my fat into gold.
–18th & 5th
Overheard by: basselope
Old cashier lady: Sixteen years ago they gave me 72 hours to live. I only have three arteries in my heart.
Old customer lady: How many are you supposed to have?
Old cashier lady: Four.
Old customer lady: Oh. That’s not that bad…
–Stop and Shop, Astoria
Overheard by: Dan
Girl: Oh, he’s constant, all right. He’s a constant asshole.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
