Teen girl #1: Is it weird that I’m usually more horny when I’m on my period?
Teen girl #2: No. I am, too.
Teen girl #1: I mean, it’s really icky to masturbate, though, because blood and shit gets everywhere.
Woman on bicycle right behind them, trying to get past: Um, excuse me.
–Park Ave
Girl #1: Oh my god! I haven’t seen you in ages!
Girl #2: I know, it’s been a while — you look great!
Girl #1: You do, too! Your hair has grown a lot since I last saw you.
Girl #2: I know what you mean — it’s all it does.
–E 86th St and Lex
Overheard by: Lisa
Ghetto chick: We gotta take down the white man, one at a time.Like that one!
Ghetto guy: I don’t know. He’s mad tall.
Ghetto chick: You right, you right. We’d need mad rope.
–2nd Ave & 67th St
Teen girl: That is not correct use of that word.
Teen Boy: Yes it is!
Teen Girl: You don’t emit a noxious odor when you ‘bifurcate’!
–68th and 3rd
Extremely large guy: Yo, I’m scared of clowns for reeeaaal.
–Court & Montague, Brooklyn
Mother to young child, after ghetto girl passes: No, honey, she’s not a clown. She just likes to dress that way.
–95th & Madison
Overheard by: Don Ricardo
Mother, watching a clown holding a briefcase walk onto the train: [to child] Look, honey, it’s a funny clown!… [to husband] Do you think he has a bomb in that briefcase?
–F train
Overheard by: and then i burst out laughing.
Queer: Fuck you! I’m a smart gay!
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Keesha Brown
Accidental ironist: Yeah, obviously he has no sense of smartness.
–68th & Lex
Overheard by: Casti
Hipster guy: I erased two years of my life with drugs. Two solid years! But I’m too smart to erase more than that.
–Chinatown bus
Girl on cell: They said that I’m smart, and that I can articulate well. But I’m not… you know… Oh, whatever.
–Queensboro Community College
Overheard by: LizDayglow
Tween boy to dad: I’m looking for a girl who’s younger and smarter.
–71st & West End
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Woman #1: Rhoda! Did you see Chrissie’s tattoo?
Woman #2: Oh no!
Woman #1: And here.
Woman #2 to teen: Are you crazy? Do you know what that shit is going to look like when you get pregnant and it stretches all out and hangs there? I ought to kick you both down these steps throwing good money away.
–Met Steps
Overheard by: Blondie
Soccer coach: You have to kick from your shoelaces.
Girl #1: I don’t have any laces!
Girl #2 with mismatched shoes: Do you like my shoes?
–P.S. 158, 77th & York
Overheard by: Jen
Little girl: Daddy! Why can’t I try? Why can’t I ride it?
Dad, on mini-bike: Because I’m God, and God says so.
–72nd & 5th
Overheard by: better off agnostic
Guy #1: Yeah, I got a lot of responsibilities being a single dad. I got three kids… I have a lot of responsibilities taking care of them. I see them every three weeks in Buffalo.
Guy #2: Yeah.
–63rd & 1st
Overheard by: Mr. Rictus
