Blonde #1: Of course there are 50 states. Duh!
Blonde #2: Yeah… Wait, what state is Florida in?
–Penn Station
Blonde #1: Of course there are 50 states. Duh!
Blonde #2: Yeah… Wait, what state is Florida in?
–Penn Station
Teen girl #1: Yeah, Florida is totally North of New York.
Teen girl #2: Are you kidding me? No, it’s not.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, it is! I mean, like, you drive North to the airport, right? And South of New York is just, like… water.
Teen girl #2, staring in disbelief: Wow.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Shocked
Drunk frat guy: I don’t know about you fellas, but I’m going to Narnia. Shazam! [Dives head first into a wardrobe.]
–NYU dorm
Frat boy: Dude, do you think if I start drinking now I’ll still be drunk in Michigan?
–JFK
Overheard by: JJ
Drunk frat dude on cell: So, does autumn come after winter or before it?
–Outside Wogie’s, West Village
Overheard by: misspenny
Black frat dude to white frat dude: I mean, if the KKK could’ve thought of BET, they woulda done it 50 years ago.
–Columbia University
Drunk Long Island frat boy: At least no one got raped, so that’s pretty good.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: echo
Bimbette #1: Wait, but, like… What state is Louisiana in, again?
Bimbette #2: I don’t know. Like, Arkansas?
–56th & Madison
Overheard by: trooshieb
Drunk babe #1: I am definitely not going to have sex with him. He fucks a bitch from New Jersey.
Drunk babe #2: Oh, well, then maybe you shouldn’t have sex with him.
Drunk babe #1: I know, right? They have their own, like, breeds of STDs out in fucking Jersey.
–Outside Soho Grand Hotel
Overheard by: Drunk Guy
Crackhead: What’s your favorite state? Mine is Seattle.
–95th & 2nd
Guy on cell: … Got fisted from another state.
–7th Ave, between 56th & 57th St
Tourist chick: I’m in Pennsylvania?! What the hell?!
–1 train, Penn Station
Bald dude on cell: Yeah, I’m in Vermont with Bill and Mary*! It’s beautiful! I know, it’s amazing — I’m getting service right on the lake.
–Burger King, Graham & Skillman
Port Authority officer: It’s not easy being a dual-state crime fighter like me.
–Exchange Place PATH station
Overheard by: Marisol
Dude: I went to only one strip club in New York. It was the one in Jersey.
–27th & 10th
Blonde: Gosh, these lines are, like, so long.
Brunette: Yep.
Blonde: I’m, like, not from here so, like, I’m not used to this.
Brunette: Uh-huh.
Blonde: I’m actually from, like, Ohio. Where are you from?
Brunette: Albany.
Blonde: Oh my gosh, really?! Say something in Albanian!
Employee passerby: Fucking tourists…
–Banana Republic Women, Soho
Overheard by: MistressSilver
Suit: Sometimes I want to ask Dan* if he’s gay. I can’t figure out if he is or not.
Woman: Is he flamboyant?
Suit: Yeah, but that could be because he’s a southerner.
–550 Madison Ave
Overheard by: DrDorn
Woman: Nobody famous ever comes in where I work.
Man: Well, we got a lot of famous people when I worked in LA.
Woman: Like who?
Man: Charlie Sheen would come into the store all the time.
Woman: Really?
Man: Yeah, but he’s a fucking freak.
Woman: Oh?
Man: Yeah, he’d hold something up and say, ‘Do you think this is good? Do you? Do you? Do you?’ like, all the time. He’s very fucked up.
–6 train
Nerd #1: Didn’t Ford’s body get shipped to Washington?
Nerd #2: No.
Nerd #1: Oh. Then I must have seen that on 24 or something.
–Union Square
