Guy walking small dog: It’s crazy that we live so close to each other and I never see you.
Woman walking giant dog: I know it’s my fault, I’ve been crazy busy at work.
Guy: We don’t have to make it a big thing -even if we just get together for a half an hour of sex.
Woman: I’m up for that!
–W 26th St
Bike messenger, at a trio of small dogs barking at him: What is it boy? There was an accident at the old saw mill? Timmy’s been hurt?
JAP walking dogs, angrily: Did I say you could talk to my fucking dogs? Get the fuck away from my dogs! [to dogs] I’m sorry, sweet babies. Did the crazy poor person scare you? My poor sweet babies.
–Lincoln Square
Overheard by: adrift midwestern hipster
Ghetto boy, pointing to fish in tank: When you say twelve cents, do you mean, like, twelve pennies?
Amused pet store worker: Yes, we mean twelve pennies.
–86th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Pet-co shopper
Girl in Snapple cap earrings: …my hamster did that. She used to jump off tables and stairs. She learned after a while to stop at the edge.
–D train
Guy #1: Anyways, how’s Coco?
Guy #2: I don’t have Coco anymore man. I got a new dog.
Guy #1: Really? What happened to Coco?
Guy #2: Coco hung himself.
–Waverly & Mercer
Overheard by: Noah Lagin
Middle-aged actress #1: I just spent six thousand dollars on chemotherapy for my 13-year-old cat.
Middle-aged actress #2: Oh, I have a great homeopathic vet. What kind of cancer did she have?
Middle-aged actress #1: Breast cancer. She had a full mastectomy.
–Bank St & 8th Ave
Sassy black lady to a dog on a leash connected to a man lounging in a chair: Oh you’re just precious! You are a good looking puppy! She’s beautiful!
Man in chair (matter-of-factly): I’m so drunk.
–Water & Fulton
Overheard by: Angie
Middle-aged woman with dog, pointing at French bulldog in the distance: Look -is that puddin’?
Friend: I hate puddin’. She always wins the costume contest.
Woman: Yeah. I mean, what was it this year? Raggedy Ann? Please.
–Ft. Tryon Dog Park
Nine-year-old girl: Mom, that kitten is so cute! Can we get a kitten?
Mother: Honey, I know it's cute, but we have to take care of the two cats we already have.
Nine-year-old girl: No, I know. I mean when they die.
–Veterinarian Waiting Room, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Ben A
Teen boy: “Romanian”? What’s that, Italian?
–N train
