12-year-old boy: Hey guys! We are gonna take a day this summer and just do stuff! Like have sex and stuff!
9-year-old boy: That's all you ever talk about!
–Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn
Overheard by: ahahahahahahahaha
12-year-old boy: Hey guys! We are gonna take a day this summer and just do stuff! Like have sex and stuff!
9-year-old boy: That's all you ever talk about!
–Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn
Overheard by: ahahahahahahahaha
Woman to man: He's got this charm about him–he's slimy, like he's Egyptian or something.
(man, uneasy, looks around to check there are no Egyptians in there)
Woman, quickly: I don't mean “slimy” in a bad way.
Man: Sure.
–A Train
Little boy to older sister: Look at that ugly bird.
Older sister, bored: Yeah, wow.
Little boy: I wanna crash it…stupid bird.
Older sister: Don't do that baby, it's not nice.
Little boy: Why not? I just wanna crash it.
Older sister: Because serial killers kill animals when they're little.
Little boy: What's a serial killer?
Older sister: It's something white people do for fun.
–7th Ave & 9th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: I have yet to kill anyone
Cute, somewhat cracked-out blonde: What kind of shot is this?
Bartender: It's my special shot.
Cute blonde: Um…does it go with Lorazepam and Adderall?
Bartender, trying not to laugh: Well yes, yes it does.
–Karavas Place, W 4th St
Male conductor: Due to the lateness of this train, the next stop will be Bay Parkway.
(pause)
Female conductor: The next stop will be 62nd Street.
Male conductor: This train will now run express. The next stop is Bay Parkway.
Female conductor: Con-duct-tor! The next…
Male conductor: Okay, okay. The next stop is 62nd Street.
–D Train
Overheard by: I hate the D train
Falafel vendor: What're you, in a bad mood?
Customer: No, I'm in a good mood. I'm always in a good mood. I'm just ugly.
–168th & Ft. Washington
Construction worker #1, watching hot girl: She cuuuute!
Construction worker #2: Yeah, I would just wanna smell her.
–Bowery & 3rd
Overheard by: Kyle
Young lisping female suit: It wath juth onthe, and it wath totally mechanical!
Young non-lisping female suit: Well, at least it was something!
–Wall St Platform
Overheard by: Heather
Friend #1: So, you know his cousin? He's a strategic navigator in the Navy.
Friend #2: Yeah?
Friend #1: So, he's really good at connect four!
–Brooklyn Museum Subway Station
Obese middle-aged lady: So I went to mail a letter…and the mailbox I've used for 25 years was gone! What do you think that even means? Did someone steal it? Why would they just remove a mailbox?
Skinny middle-aged white man, incredulously: I've never heard of anything like that in my entire life.
Obese middle-aged lady: I know, I was literally standing there for 15 minutes wondering what to do. I missed my train, I really don't know why they would remove a mailbox.
Skinny middle-aged white man: That is crazy. I've never heard of that.
(couple then repeats variations of the same conversation for the next three stops)
–Downtown 1 Train
