Dude #1: I want a new printer but they’re too expensive.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to find a good cheap one.
Homeless busybody: Cheap?! That’s why you’re a fucking Jew!
Dude #2: Actually I’m not Jewish, but I’m glad you’re homeless!
–W. 4th St.
American woman: Don’t push me. I saw you trying to get ahead of me!
Russian woman: What you talking about? I did not.
American woman: You did, too! You’re all the same, so goddamn pushy.
Russian woman: What, what you think I am? Look at me! What you think I am? What I look like to you?
American woman: Well, I’d say you look like a fat big mouthed bleach blonde bitch whore!
Russian woman: What? I get my husband on you!
American woman: Go ahead! I’m sure he’s home and not working. You’re all here for a free handout!
The Russian woman storms out to find her husband.
American woman: What did she want? She asked what do I look like so I told her. I was only being honest!
–Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
A pushy, obnoxious woman tries to cram her way onto the subway before the passengers exiting even get a chance to get out the door. She screams: If you would get out of the way and let me on first, then you can get off!
–Penn Station
Asian mother, walking past smoker: Get your cigarette away from my baby!
Smoker: Get your baby away from my cigarette!
Old woman: Yeah! Fuck you, lady!
–W 96th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Hobbes
Guy #1, entering cafe, to tourist holding door: I'm not giving you a fucking tip!
Guy #2, quietly: You're welcome.
(woman comes in, guy #2 holds door again, woman nods politely)
Woman: You're not from round here, are you?
Guy #2, in British accent: Apparently.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Calas
Raging hipster: Take back New York!
80-year-old woman: Oooh, shove it.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: sen
Guy #1, watching man bleeding on pavement: Dude, we should help that guy.
Guy #2: Forgetaboutit.
Guy #1: Ha! You're so right! I love New York.
–Queens
Kid in car, screaming at top of his lungs in parked car: Just a small town girl living in a lonely world she took…
From random window: If she doesn't shut the fuck up she'll take a midnight train to my foot up her ass!
–Brooklyn
Stewardess: Welcome to New York, and on behalf of United Airlines we'd like to thank you for choosing us. Once again, this really is New York.
–La Guardia Airport
Pilot: Ladies and gentleman, we're going through some turbulence. Make sure you are seated with your belts fastened. I will get back to you when we start our descent. (noise in the intercom) This is not looking good.
–Near JFK Airport
Overheard by: We managed to land…
Stewardess on flight leaving for Chicago: Now, I realize that most of you have the following safety video memorized. However, you never know if the person sitting next to you is a first time flier, particularly safety-conscious, or an FAA inspector.
–La Guardia International Airport
Flight attendant, over PA: There will be no smoking aboard this flight. Alaska Airlines is a completely smoke-free airline…and, frankly, it's just bad for your health.
–Flight to Newark Airport
Overheard by: wink
Flight attendant: Sorry, guys, but we're still waiting on one more passenger. (pause) How many of you think we should just leave him? (half the passengers raise their hands) New Yorkers, New Yorkers…
–JFK to Ft. Lauderdale Flight
Haggard man wearing NY sweatshirt: Is this New York City?
Bunch of bros: Yeah, it is!
Haggard man wearing NY sweatshirt: This ain't New York City anymore, man. You shoulda been here forty years ago!
–Union Square
Overheard by: jvdubs
