Dude: You should’ve seen how pissed she was when I finally told her that I lied and wasn’t really gay.
Girl: You should’ve removed all the knives, pills and nooses from the house after that one.
Dude: I’m not stupid: I didn’t tell her in person!
–29th & 10th
Hot soccer mom: Yesterday his mother actually asked me if I own a can opener! Do you believe that? What a bitch. She lives to put me down.
Friend: Wait… So you do own a can opener?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: that girl
Guy at bar: And so I keep trying to tell my wife that sienna is not a color.
Girl passing by: Yes it is! Burnt sienna is a crayon you slanderous prick!
–Restaurant, Bleecker Street
Black girl #1: So why did you decide to come to New York?
Black girl #2: Because I hate white people.
–NYU
Overheard by: Cracker Apparently In the Wrong City
Cab driver, to girl crossing the street when red hand signal is on: What are you doing!!?? [honks horn repeatedly.]Girl, taking her time crossing: Yeah, Yeah. So your horn blows, does your mother?!
–38th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Nic
Four-year-old girl screaming: IT IS MY MONEY AND I WANT IT BACK!
Shockingly calm but exhausted Dad: No Sarah, it is OUR money.
Sarah [chanting over and over while stomping her feet.]: IT IS MY MONEY! I WANT IT BACK!
–Bank, Madison Ave & E 65th
Overheard by: Christina
Hipster #1: No water?!?!
Hipster #2: I can’t believe they’re denying us the most basic necessity … I hate everyone right now!
–McCarren Park Pool
Cop: Peace and love, you hear me? Peace and love. Peace and love. Fucking peace and love.
Tourist: I just want to know where track four is…
Cop: Peace and love! Now get the fuck out of my train station!
–Penn Station
Vendor: I don’t need your money! I don’t need your money! I don’t need your money!
Angry customer: Bullshit!
Vendor: I don’t need it! I got money! I don’t get high! You drink! I don’t need your money!
–112th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ukranian Boy
Agitated Indian woman on platform, unable to board: You! You in the orange shirt! Do you speak English?
Asian woman in orange shirt: … Yes.
Agitated Indian woman: Could you move into the center of the car? Move in, move in! Move in so we can get on!
Asian woman: I am moved in. I’m in the exact center of the car!
Agitated Indian woman: No, there is room! Orange shirt, move in!
Asian woman: I can’t go anywhere. I don’t know what you expect me to do.
Agitated Indian woman: [String of expletives in Hindi.]Asian woman, under breath: Psycho.
–Crowded N train, 59th St stop
Overheard by: trappedinabay
