Anger Management

Random female tourist: Excuse me, can you tell me which way is the river?
Random angry new yorker: Which one, lady? You’re on a fucking island.

–9th & Broadway

Overheard by: Elan

Headline by: Jess

Runners-Up:
· “”Oh, Sorry. I’m Looking For, Um (Reading Guidebook) ‘Duh Fuckin’ River Wit Dah Steel Bitch Innit’…”” – Mike Chmiel
· “And That Was All Reba Needed For A Good Country Song” – cbeck
· “Generic Tourist ‘To Do’ List: “Get Insulted by New Yorker: – Check!” – Bassmanbish
· “Shit…Can You Tell Me How to Get to New York Then?” – lisa
· “The Map Crisis in America Doesn’t Just Apply to Beauty Pageants” – Erin

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Cashier: That comes out to $5.50.
[Man hands cashier a $5 with a hole in it.]Cashier: Uh, do you have anything better? You know without a hole in it?
Man: Naw, I got mad at it so I shot it.
Cashier: Ah, totally understandable.

–McDonald’s, Bronx

Dude: You should’ve seen how pissed she was when I finally told her that I lied and wasn’t really gay.
Girl: You should’ve removed all the knives, pills and nooses from the house after that one.
Dude: I’m not stupid: I didn’t tell her in person!

–29th & 10th

Hot soccer mom: Yesterday his mother actually asked me if I own a can opener! Do you believe that? What a bitch. She lives to put me down.
Friend: Wait… So you do own a can opener?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: that girl

Guy at bar: And so I keep trying to tell my wife that sienna is not a color.
Girl passing by: Yes it is! Burnt sienna is a crayon you slanderous prick!

–Restaurant, Bleecker Street

Black girl #1: So why did you decide to come to New York?
Black girl #2: Because I hate white people.

–NYU

Overheard by: Cracker Apparently In the Wrong City

Cab driver, to girl crossing the street when red hand signal is on: What are you doing!!?? [honks horn repeatedly.]Girl, taking her time crossing: Yeah, Yeah. So your horn blows, does your mother?!

–38th St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Nic

Four-year-old girl screaming: IT IS MY MONEY AND I WANT IT BACK!
Shockingly calm but exhausted Dad: No Sarah, it is OUR money.
Sarah [chanting over and over while stomping her feet.]: IT IS MY MONEY! I WANT IT BACK!

–Bank, Madison Ave & E 65th

Overheard by: Christina

Hipster #1: No water?!?!
Hipster #2: I can’t believe they’re denying us the most basic necessity … I hate everyone right now!

–McCarren Park Pool

Cop: Peace and love, you hear me? Peace and love. Peace and love. Fucking peace and love.
Tourist: I just want to know where track four is…
Cop: Peace and love! Now get the fuck out of my train station!

–Penn Station