Woman #1: Oooh! Look! A kid’s store! It’s so cute!
Woman #2: I hate you. I hate you for telling me that.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Woman #1: Oooh! Look! A kid’s store! It’s so cute!
Woman #2: I hate you. I hate you for telling me that.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Chick #1: Yeah, so I kinda wanna go to the wedding, you know, to see the spectacle.
Chick #2: Mm-hmm.
Chick #1: But on the other hand, I don’t want it to seem like she has any friends.
–Q65A bus
Overheard by: christine
Chick: You can tell this is the comics section ’cause all the fat, ugly people are here.
Dude: You’re gonna get lynched.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Javier G.
Guy #1: So I said, “Well, you all are, like, almost hot.”
Guy #2: Wait, why did you do that?
Guy #1: Oh, I wasn’t going to hook up with any of them. So then I said, “See, it’s like you all could be hot. Like she has a nice ass, you have a nice nose… I just wish I could put all of you together and create one big Frankenpussy.”
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Black woman: You’re my lawyer! Ain’t it your fucking job to take care of shit like this?! All you white people, controlling everything–you’re all incompetent! Fuckin’ white people!
White attorney: Sandra*, please calm down.
Black woman: Fuckin’ white people!
White attorney: Ma’am, speaking as a white person who happens to hold $379,000 of your money in escrow, may I suggest you stop cursing at us and calm down before I get up and take your checks with me?
Black woman: I will not calm down!!
White attorney gets up and leaves the room.
Woman’s husband: See what you did? You done upset the white man. I ain’t got no problem wit you cursin’ at crackahs, but why you gotta go and piss off the white man who got all our money?
–54th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Amused white intern
Guy: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult your computer. I didn’t know it was a cheap computer. I’m sorry.
Girl: You didn’t insult my computer. You insulted my socio-economic status.
–7th St between A & B
Girl #1: Dammit, they’re putting one of the wheelchair people on the bus!
Girl #2: Fuck, man…You know, they should just put a handle on the back of the bus.
Girl #1: Yeah, that could be fun for them!
–M12 bus
Lady: Hey, how do I get to Court Street?
Hobo: Two blocks that way…See, we’re not all that bad. You got any change?
Lady: No, I know. Shut up. I’m a social worker.
–Brooklyn Heights
College kid #1: God, that girl over there’s hot!
College kid #2: Dude, you need to stop being so obsessed with chicks with tattoos. I fucked a girl with a tattoo, and it was pretty unpleasant.
College kid #1: That’s because she was 48 years old and a grandmother…[To entire train] Did everyone hear that? A grandmother!
–L train
Overheard by: Zak Santucci
