You Keep Saying It, We’ll Keep Posting It

Black girl: Some motherfucker put me on this site called overheardinnewyork.com. It’s so fucked up. Why would anyone put what I said on the streets to a site? This shit is not fucking funny.
Black guy: What was put up? I gotta check this out, this shit sounds funny.
Black girl: You were there, it was the time I told this Chinese nigger to apologize and he ended up telling me to go fuck myself, and it was posted by some motherfucker called Ting. Is that even a real fucking name?
Black guy: Yeah, I remember that, that shit was hilarious.
Black girl: Fuck you laughing at? Don’t make me rip your balls out.

–Q46 bus

Overheard by: Ting (again!)

Posted on January 16, 2021
Anger Management, Black People, Bus, On the Bus, Queens

If Dr. Phil Did 2000 Sit-Ups a Day

LL Cool J walks by gaggle of middle-aged black ladies, smiling as he passes.

Ladies: Oh my god, oh my god, that’s LL!
Black woman to white woman: You people don’t understand — that was like you white folks seeing Dr. Phil!

–LaGuardia

Overheard by: Swanny

Posted on January 9, 2021
A-List, About Celebrities, At the Airport, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Music, Women

Disclaimer: Offer Expires Once You're Pregnant

Young black man outside barber shop: Hey, lady!
White lady, digging through her purse: Oh, hi…
Young black man, sitting and gesturing: What you digging for? My heart is right here!

–Jamaica Ave & Parsons

Overheard by: Lady Walking By

Posted on January 5, 2021
Barbershop, Black People, Body Parts, Pick-up Lines, Queens, White People, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Go for the Jugular

Slutty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I've been shitting blood for two days.

–Citi Field Stadium

Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.

–St. Mark's

Overheard by: jax

Chick laughing hysterically on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Fresh Man

Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleeding from his eye sockets and shit. (pause) So you wanna meet up later?

–Willoughby & Vanderbilt

Posted on December 31, 2020
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Biotechs, Black People, Blood & bleeding, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Cars and Driving, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Hunter, Laughter, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Penis, Poop, Queens, Queer guys, Street, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Just Like Nicole Richie

Black street dealer: Coke? Weed, my brotha?
Desi dude: I’m not black, I’m Indian, my nigga.

–St. Mark’s & 3rd

Overheard by: Innocent XXX

Posted on December 13, 2020
Black People, Cocaine, Desi, Druggies, Race, Union Square and East Village, Weed

And, by the Way, ‘Grammatically Correctly’ Is Needlessly Redundant

Belligerent white woman: Could you get of the way?
Black teen: I be trying!
Belligerent white woman: You should speak gramatically correctly!
Smartass: “I be trying” isn’t ungrammatical. It’s standard usage in African-American vernacular English.
Belligerent white woman: Oh, what would you know?
Smartass: I have a Ph.D. in linguistics from MIT.

–A train

Posted on December 12, 2020
Academics, Black People, Education, Idiots, Languages, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On the Subway, Race, Stupidity, Words

Be a Good Sport, Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor, on loudspeaker: Please note, you heard it here first: I’m watching the Super Bowl only for the commercials. The Giants are going to be so far ahead of… the other team… it’ll be a boring game. We gonna whoop them by at least 15, 20 points. But the commercials are going to be great!

–A train

Overheard by: love this conductor!

Blind hobo to no one: You know why black basketball players are better than white ones? Because Jesus was black, so they’re like Jesus!

–1 train

Black teen girl, to three teen boys: Super Bowl! Super bowl?! What the hell does that mean, ‘a Super Bowl’? Didn’t you ever think about how stupid that is?!

–F train, 4th Ave

Overheard by: Theresa

Eight-year-old boy: You can’t have a Cowboys game without the cheerleaders. There go half the male ticket holders.

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Guy who is clearly not Eli Manning: What do I do? My name is Eli Manning, and I play for the New York Giants.

–Upper West Side

Guy randomly wipes out on the sidewalk, flat on his stomach with arms stretched out in front of him. Everyone stares.

Nearby cop: Safe!

–Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: Bananaphone

Posted on December 8, 2020
Black People, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Cops, Crazies, Crazy, Default, Girls, Glad the Condom Broke, Gripes, Hobos, Kids, On the Subway, Penn Station, Race, Sports, Teens, TV, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

…Sauteed with Salt and Butter.

Thin white guy, handing out show fliers: You like white people?
Huge black guy wearing leather jacket: Why, yes I do!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Hanna

Posted on November 16, 2020
Black People, Flyer people, Guys, Questions, Race, Times Square, White People

It Stands for Keeping Us Safe from the Terrorists

White mom: Does this train stop at Canal Street?
Black guy: Yeah, it goes there, it goes there. It’s not going there anytime soon. ‘Cause you know what the MTA stands for? Might Take Awhile.

–E train

Posted on October 31, 2020
Black People, Directions, Moms, On the Subway, Public Transportation, White People

Um…Yes

(guy sits next to perfect stranger)
Guy: Are you dating someone?
Girl: No.
Guy: Can I have your number?
Girl: No.
Guy: Is it because I’m black?
Girl: Of course not.
Guy: Is it because you’re a lesbian?

–C Train

Posted on October 23, 2020
Black People, Dating, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Race

Black People