Black girl: And I told that nigga that one of these days he's better goddamn fuck me sober!
Friend: Damn straight!
–67th & Lexington
Overheard by: Oliver Woodhead
Black girl: And I told that nigga that one of these days he's better goddamn fuck me sober!
Friend: Damn straight!
–67th & Lexington
Overheard by: Oliver Woodhead
Ghetto preacher: Everyday I wake up and thank the lord…
White girl: I don't.
–125th & Lexington
Overheard by: Agie Markiewicz
White lady reading gossip magazine: Will you all be quiet? I wanna read about Madonna's age mystery!
Black hipster girl: Look at that bitch's hands! Case closed.
–2 Train
Overheard by: not from these parts
Conductor: This is a reminder that soliciting is illegal on all New York City subway trains, even if it's for the homeless.
Loud ghetto guy: Attention ladies and gentleman, I'm collecting money for the homeless. Help the homeless? Help the homeless?
Conductor: This is a reminder that soliciting is illegal on all New York City subway trains, even if it's for the homeless. This is his fourth trip. Don't do it.
Loud ghetto guy: Attention ladies and gentlemen, I'm collecting money for the homeless. Help the homeless? Help the homeless?
–Shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square
Overheard by: Alison R.
Black lady #1: A rash, I got a rash! On my thing–my thing was little, they done made it big! And that shit is traveling, I don't know what the fuck I gonna do.
Black lady #2 (watching soap opera on tv): Expelled?
Black lady #1: What the fuck is that?
Black lady #2: He's expelled, that means he can't come to school no more.
–Waiting Room, North General Hospital
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Loud black girl on train #1: Why ain't we goin' to the tattoo place on West 4th Street?
Loud black girl on train #2: Nah, we can't got there, Christine's homophobic. She can't go there.
–A Train
Black guy (spotting a friend): Hey man, what's up? You know you one ugly motherfucka? (laughs)
Black guy #2: Dude, youse the ugly nigga. You've been one ugly motherfucka for ten years.
Black guy #1: You've been an ugly motherfucka since you was born.
(time passes, they talk in their separate groups of friends. Black guy #1 gets off train)
Black guy #2's friend: Yo, your ugly nigga just left.
Black guy #2: He is one ugly mothafucka isn't he? (laughs).
–1 Train
Black female police officer #1: You're not voting for Obama? He's black!
Black female police officer #2: Exactly, cuz when does a black man ever do anything for a black woman?
–M34 Bus
Stupid black guy: I think with Martin Luther King Day coming they should completely end slavery.
Smart black guy: Mmmm…there hasn't been slavery in the US since Lincoln.
Stupid black guy: Oh, there's still slavery.
Smart black guy: Whatever.
–Duane Reade
Black man #1, talking about Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ: Yo, you remember the prostitute?
Black man #2: What?
Black man #1: The prostitute. He saved her life.
Black man #2: By the well, dog, getting water.
Black man #1: Right. Niggas is like, drinking beers, and they goin' throw stones at her, 'til he be like, only them that ain't sinned can throw rocks, and they all backed down.
Black man #2: Yo, that shit was tight, man.
–Q Train
