Black lady #1: A rash, I got a rash! On my thing–my thing was little, they done made it big! And that shit is traveling, I don't know what the fuck I gonna do.
Black lady #2 (watching soap opera on tv): Expelled?
Black lady #1: What the fuck is that?
Black lady #2: He's expelled, that means he can't come to school no more.
–Waiting Room, North General Hospital
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Loud black girl on train #1: Why ain't we goin' to the tattoo place on West 4th Street?
Loud black girl on train #2: Nah, we can't got there, Christine's homophobic. She can't go there.
–A Train
Black guy (spotting a friend): Hey man, what's up? You know you one ugly motherfucka? (laughs)
Black guy #2: Dude, youse the ugly nigga. You've been one ugly motherfucka for ten years.
Black guy #1: You've been an ugly motherfucka since you was born.
(time passes, they talk in their separate groups of friends. Black guy #1 gets off train)
Black guy #2's friend: Yo, your ugly nigga just left.
Black guy #2: He is one ugly mothafucka isn't he? (laughs).
–1 Train
Black female police officer #1: You're not voting for Obama? He's black!
Black female police officer #2: Exactly, cuz when does a black man ever do anything for a black woman?
–M34 Bus
Stupid black guy: I think with Martin Luther King Day coming they should completely end slavery.
Smart black guy: Mmmm…there hasn't been slavery in the US since Lincoln.
Stupid black guy: Oh, there's still slavery.
Smart black guy: Whatever.
–Duane Reade
Black man #1, talking about Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ: Yo, you remember the prostitute?
Black man #2: What?
Black man #1: The prostitute. He saved her life.
Black man #2: By the well, dog, getting water.
Black man #1: Right. Niggas is like, drinking beers, and they goin' throw stones at her, 'til he be like, only them that ain't sinned can throw rocks, and they all backed down.
Black man #2: Yo, that shit was tight, man.
–Q Train
Black hobo to passing tourist: Where you from?
Tourist: Ireland.
Black hobo: You Irish?
Tourist: Yeah.
Black hobo: Well, god bless the Irish. And god bless the Italians. And fuck everyone else!
–8th Ave & 22nd St
Overheard by: Doug Tischler
Bus driver: We have no more room on this bus. There is another right behind me.
Angry black woman in line: Let me on!
Bus driver: Look, lady, there is no room on this bus!
Angry black woman: You won't let me on because I'm black!
Black teen: It's not because you black, nigga, it's because you a stupid selfish motherfucka.
–M14 Bus
Overheard by: Student Teacher
African American bank employee: Ma'am, it's not Chase's fault that you had to go to a Citibank at 4 am because there was a homeless man sleeping in the Chase lobby. We cannot refund the $1.50 fee that Citibank charged you.
90-year-old woman: He was Caucasian! Can you believe it?
African American bank employee: Ma'am, even Caucasians can be homeless.
–Chase Bank
Teenage hippie: Are we at Queens yet?
African American man: Yeah, duh.
Teenage hippie: How can you tell?
African American man: See those trees? Trees don't grow in Brooklyn. They only grow in Queens.
–J train
Overheard by: Charlie Zhen
