No, Universal Affirmatives Can Only Be Partially Converted

Black kid, pointing to a Hasidic Jewish man: Yo, check out the Amish dude!
Mother: He ain’t Amish, they wear straw hats.
Black kid: But he’s got a beard. Amish guys got beards. So he’s Amish.

–Uptown 4 train

Overheard by: jewish girl

Posted on November 4, 2006
Black People, Kids, Moms, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On the Subway, Religion, Stupidity

So Mom Required her to Contemplate the Year’s Mistakes

Black 10-year-old girl: Mommy! Mommy! Can I get some ice cream?
Ghetto mom: I ain’t gettin’ you no ice cream. Ain’t no holiday.
Black 10-year-old girl: Is so! It’s the Jewish New Year!

–11th St & Ave C

Posted on October 23, 2006
Black People, Food, Holidays, Judaism, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Union Square and East Village

They do Them on the Team bus

Little boy: Do you play basketball?
Black man: Yes I do.
Little boy: Do you play for the Knicks?
Boy’s mom: Yes, professional basketball players spend their time off doing sudoku puzzles on the subway. Let’s go.

–Downtown 1 train

Overheard by: Allisa

Posted on October 19, 2006
Black People, Boys, Moms, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Sports

Warning: This Story is Character-Driven

Rhodes Scholar wigger: Yeah, we ain’t together no more. Bitch had the nerve to dump me.
Friend: What happened? You guys looked fine last week. It doesn’t make sense.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: She wasn’t down with how I roll. Always dissin’ the way I talk and shit–you know, correcting me and shit. Said she couldn’t take it no more, that I was always actin’ ign-i-ant or some shit. Like she’s some brain scientist or some shit. Bitch was always wrong anyways.
Friend: Brain surgeon.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: What?
Friend: You said brain scientist. I think you meant brain surgeon.
Rhodes Scholar wigger: Dat’s what I said nigga, you just heard me wrong.
Friend: You know what, suddenly it does makes sense.

–Manhattan bound F train

Overheard by: SandmanEsq

Posted on October 13, 2006
Assholes, Black People, Breaking Up, Education, Friends, Idiots, On the Subway, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Words

In Fifteen Years, Nothing Else Will Be Remembered About Janet Jackson

Black chick #1: So I got my nipples pierced.
Black chick #2: No way! Let me see!
Black chick #1: Not on the train!
Black chick #2: It’s not like I haven’t seen them before. Remember at Rashon’s party, where you pulled a Janet Jackson?

–Brooklyn bound F train

Overheard by: Scott

Posted on October 8, 2006
About Celebrities, Black People, Celebrities, Girls, Nipples, Nudity, On the Subway

You Catch It the Same Way You Do Unicorns

Gigantic suit, urinating outside: Excuse me, ladies. I apologize for that.
Ladies: It’s OK.
Gigantic suit: There’s a big black cock on the loose.

–19th & Broadway

Overheard by: becca

Posted on October 2, 2006
Black People, Etiquette, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Penis, Suits

He Sees You As an Alternative Target, Not Protection

Chinese guy: Hey, now that you’re here we can go to Sylvia’s in Harlem and get some soul food.
Black guy: What do you mean, "now that I’m here"? What, you can’t go to Harlem by yourself, but now that you’ve got your token black you’re safe? That’s fucked up.
Chinese guy: Let me ask you something: would you go to Harlem alone at night?
Black guy: OK, that’s not the point.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Ricky

Posted on October 1, 2006
Black People, Chinatown, Chinese, Ethnic Food, Race

You Don’t Want to Know What She Does When She Gets Her Hands on the Sunny D

Ghetto chick: They got some shit out there called Purple Motherfucker.
Ghetto guy: Yeah, I know about that. I don’t like to talk about that shit, though.
Ghetto chick: That shit so good, make me wanna curse my momma an’ shit!

–A train, between 125th & 145th

Overheard by: Deckard