Passenger: Have you ever run anyone over?
Cabbie: No. Do you want me to try it right now?
–West Village
Passenger: Have you ever run anyone over?
Cabbie: No. Do you want me to try it right now?
–West Village
Girl: Mom, I was just watching a TV show, and guess who has your car?
JAP mom: Who?
Girl: P. Diddy!
JAP mom: Ewww, gross!
–54th & 5th
Cop, taking report of stolen car: Ok, what was the color, make and model?
Metro Guy: It’s cranberry and…
Cop: Cranberry’s something you eat, son, your car was red.
–L.I.C.
Overheard by: Jatmos
Gay in cab: Hey, look, it’s a fiiireman!
Fireman: Hey, it’s a fag in a cab!
Gay in cab: Are there any more firemen?
Fireman: Are there any more fags in the cab?
–319 W 48th St
Overheard by: gianni jones
Mom: Why don’t you go and help your uncle fix the car?
Young girl: Excuse me… I’m not a screwdriver and I’m not a mechanic.
–Astoria
Little girl: Daddy! Why can’t I try? Why can’t I ride it?
Dad, on mini-bike: Because I’m God, and God says so.
–72nd & 5th
Overheard by: better off agnostic
Guy on cell: I don’t know, now she won’t sleep in the bedroom ’cause of the mobster, and she needs a ride to the Hamptons.
–7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Analt
Guy: He’ll be here in another twenty minutes. He’s sleeping in the back of a car.
–74th & 2nd
Overheard by: Wendy
Teenage girl: I know it’s so wrong, but I’m seriously lusting for luxury cars. I just want to lick them. I want to hump those leather seats!
–WTC Path station
Overheard by: Carine
Suburban boy: Oh my God, driving in the city is most fun thing in the entire world!
–Downtown R train
Overheard by: confused
Man: I had a bad night tonight. I stole a car, got two tickets. I shouldn’t-a stole that car.
–Bodega, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Flasteppi
Drunk guy on cell: If you don’t have my money by 12 tomorrow, I’m gonna get your mother’s car and your sister’s car…I still love your sister, too, but you better have my money.
–Union Turnpike-Kew Gardens E/F station
Young woman: Where did all these cars come from? New York doesn’t have cars.
–35th & 5th
Overheard by: Frank & Alex
Man: You finally made it.
Woman: Yeah… by the time I wake up, get ready, drive to the train station, take the train, then take the subway to get here all for a ten-minute interview… it’s, like, a total rim job.
Man: Ummm… at least you made it.
–50th & 7th
Man, to driver who has almost hit them: No turns on red, you fucking asshole!
Woman: Calm down. He’s from Virginia–he’s obviously an idiot.
–60th & Madison
Overheard by: Todd Garrin
Yellow cab driver, leaning out window: Hey.
Gypsy cab driver: Yeah?
Yellow cab driver: Uh, West Side Highway?
Gypsy cab driver: Ri’on Dy’man.
Yellow cab driver: What?
Gypsy cab driver: Right on Dyckman.
Yellow cab driver: Oh! Okay.
Gypsy cab driver: Fuckin’ tourists.
–204th & Broadway
Overheard by: amused passenger
Headline by: NYwannabe
Runners-Up:
· “GPS: Gypsy Positioning System–Taxi Technology of the Future” – also amused
· “Adventure Tourism For Rich People With Everything” – Julie
· “Headline Be Damned, I’m Shocked There Were 2 Cabs in Inwood!” – erak
· “Hey, My Mother Was a Fucking Tourist” – Eugene
· “Real NYC Cabbies Just Head in the Wrong Direction” – Gary
· “So I Guess Asking For Grey Poupon Is Out of the Question” – Jen
· “They Never Come to a Complete Glottal Stop” – markle
