Professor: So if we were to write a speech on the American Civil War, what could some topics be?
Student: The different countries involved?
–Pace University
Professor: So if we were to write a speech on the American Civil War, what could some topics be?
Student: The different countries involved?
–Pace University
Freshman girl #1: What'd you do Saturday?
Freshman girl #2: My friend came over and I taught her the difference between a rifle bullet and a shotgun shell…cuz that's what I was meant to do.
–St. Francis Preparatory School, Queens
Man: With this many books you are almost certain to make a mistake in your choice.
–The Strand
Overheard by: Jill A.
Frat boy #1: Dude, you have, like, pills all over your counter. You have, like, a pharmacy on your counter, Dude. Why?
Frat boy #2: I don’t know. Wait, I don’t have pills all over my counter.
Frat boy #1: Yes, you do, Dude.
Frat boy #2: Oh, those…
–113th and Amsterdam
Overheard by: lotuseater
Girl #1: Oh my god! We should definitely get together over the summer to study for the MCATs!
Girl #2: Yeah! That way, we'll actually have somewhat of a social life!
–Bard High School Early College
Professor: So I told my grad students they could have an A if they earned it, or if they beat me in a 12-minute cage fight.
–Fordham Universityy
Israeli politics professor, after class: There's enough Tylenol out there to take care of your hangovers after Purim. So, all your sorry little asses better be in this class at three o'clock, Wednesday afternoon.
–Yeshiva University
English professor: Yeah, the end of the poem relates to the beginning. Every good poem has a return… just like a good walk.
–Hunter college
Professor: Of course there was marital harmony! As we all know, the family who cuts drugs together, stays together.
–Fordham Law School
Overheard by: EntertainedStudent
Professor: An example of synecdoche would be, "get your ass over here." You want all of them, not just their ass. But sometimes, you do just want their ass. And we all know how that goes. But that sort of thing doesn't happen in a classroom… usually.
–NYU
Overheard by: queenofscots
Hot black girl: Where did summer go? Now we're all back to wearing glasses and snorting Adderall… or taking it with water.
–24th St & 3rd Ave
Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I'd totally be getting more ass.
–Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jack
Guy to another: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all into pill form, and down it with a Sparks!
–N Train
Architecture professor: Everything in moderation… except for heroin. Heroin, you go for the gusto.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
Nursing student #1: What about backpacks?
Nursing student #2: Mmm…Nazis.
–Wagner College
20-something yuppie: As soon as I got my acceptances & rejections back, I realized what I should have realized before I even applied, of where I really wanted to go and what I really wanted to study.
— Park Slope
Chick #1: NYU is taking over the city. Soon they’re gonna have to
start calling it “New York” City.
Chick #2: It’s already called New York City!
–4th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kelly Raz
