Dad: See that building, honey?
Little daughter: Yeah
Dad: It’s Hunter College. It’s where they train hunters! Elmer Fudd goes there.
Little daughter: Uh hum.
–M79 bus
Dad: See that building, honey?
Little daughter: Yeah
Dad: It’s Hunter College. It’s where they train hunters! Elmer Fudd goes there.
Little daughter: Uh hum.
–M79 bus
NYU chick: Don’t hug him, he did a very stupid thing today
Gay guy #1 goes to hug gay guy #2 anyway.
Gay guy #2: Ow, watch out. I waxed my whole chest this morning.
–Washington Square Park
Blonde college student: Where is the start button?
Guy (pointing to computer CPU on floor and its start button): There you go, it's on there.
Blonde college student: That's so annoying that they put it all the way down there.
–City University of New York
Professor: They make disposable everything these days. Disposable diapers, disposable razors. They even make edible underwear, don't they? (class is silent) Yes! They do! (pause) Maybe I'm telling you more about myself than I should be…
–Wagner College
Girl: Wait, my panties!
–Franklin St
Guy on phone: I told you to take your thong off!
–60th & Columbus
Man: I do not want to know your bra size! Ever!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Christina M.
Guy on cell: He wore boxers and it was like, "okay, so you hang to the left…"
–W 46th St
Older gentleman to lady friend: If this keeps up, I'm going to have to start wearing underwear.
–14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Kat
Angry man on cell: He was a porn star, not a pianist.
–Outside Fairway, 72nd St
Goth chick on cell: We're inside. Yeah, she's playing "Creep" on a ukulele. No, I'm serious!
–Spiegelworld
Art student: I did some acid and they made me play with a guitar, but it felt like plastic and it sounded like cheese!
–Pratt Institute
Tall drummer girl: This is why I love you guys. When the drumline goes on break, they're like, "let's play some more!" When you guys go on break, you're like, "let's explore each others' bodies!"
–Pathmark
Overheard by: Another band geek
30-something African American woman: Mmm-hmm. He playin' her ass like a violin!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: KTizzle
Professor: Fat people are often funny.
–Baruch College
Girl to friend: When she OD'ed on him, it was so funny!
–Riverdale
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy-looking middle aged woman on cell: The funniest thing today with the kids! They slammed me to the door and one of them bit my arm and I drew blood! (pauses) Yeah, I know, I'm going back tomorrow!
–F Train
Girl: So, like my friend thought it would be funny to jump in a pool that didn't have water in it.
–8th St & Broadway
Brooklyn artist: After four or five organic vodka tonics, all the ironic hairstyles in the bar start to actually be funny.
–Williamsburg
Girl #1: Wow, my rain poncho is longer than my skirt.
Girl #2: That's because you're a slut.
–Bard High School Early College
Journalism professor: Can anyone, for extra credit, give me two words to describe this day that will go down in history?
Silence
Professor: I’ll give you a clue — it has to do with President Bush.
Random student: “Mission accomplished!”
Girl #1 to her friend: Mission Impossible? What does Tom Cruise have to do with Bush?
Girl #2: Yeah, I know, that movie isn’t even out yet!
–Silver Center, NYU
Professor: So if we were to write a speech on the American Civil War, what could some topics be?
Student: The different countries involved?
–Pace University
Freshman girl #1: What'd you do Saturday?
Freshman girl #2: My friend came over and I taught her the difference between a rifle bullet and a shotgun shell…cuz that's what I was meant to do.
–St. Francis Preparatory School, Queens
