Girl: Do you ever think about us? Like, how many more of us there are than of you?
Professor guy: Of course. That’s why I always pack heat.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Jeff
Girl: Do you ever think about us? Like, how many more of us there are than of you?
Professor guy: Of course. That’s why I always pack heat.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Jeff
White woman: Hi, are you Jermaine?
White male nurse: Do I look like a Jermaine to you?
–ER, Columbia Presbyterian
Overheard by: Ann
Headline by: Jared Rizzi
Runners-Up:
· “He’s Already Calling Himself Jasmine Before the Sex-Change Has Even Started.” – johnny-G
· “I’m Michael, Dammit!” – davey j.
· “My Name Tag Clearly Reads “Michael Jackson: Pediatrics”” – Matt T.
· “No, But How Many Male Nurses Are on Staff Here?” – Mike Duh Medic
· “You Look More Like an Asshole, but I Thought I’d Give You the Benefit Of the Doubt” – I never win
Girl #1: My brother’s started taking marijuana and I’m worried cause he’s only 17.
Girl #2: I’m so anti-drugs because my dad’s brother died of a drug overdose.
Girl #1: Was it a marijuana overdose?
–Columbia University
Speaker girl: Any questions?
Audience girl: Were you able to find out about how much women paid for the abortion procedures?
Speaker girl: About $200 a pop.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Julia Kite
Guy #1: She’s really religious, she even goes to a Jesuit school.
Girl #1: Oh! Like JTS?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: What? Isn’t Jesuit another word for Jewish? Like Orthodox or something?
Guy #1: Um, no.
–Columbia University
Guy #1: Dude, I know this is kinda gay, but I played The Sims last night naked and it was awesome.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s solid. I watch TV naked all the time. Not recently, though. I’ve been studying for my econ midterm constantly, and you can’t be naked in the library.
Guy #1: That sucks, ’cause it’s like…being naked just always feels better.
Guy #2: Totally. Ceteris paribus, I say, “do it naked.”
–Columbia University
Fratboy #1: Dude, if he like, never went out at all and studied all the time, he could get As.
Fratboy #2: Yeah, but what’s the point in that?
Fratboy #1: What does he want to do again?
Fratboy #2: Well, he’ll never be good at business because he can’t hold his liquor.
Fratboy #1: We’ll have to help him out.
–Columbia University
Guy #1: Polo is like, the hardest sport to play on the planet.
Guy #2: Uh huh.
Girl: Aside from space travel.
–Columbia University
