Drunk guy #1: My junk is way more prominent than your junk.
Drunk guy #2: No way, my junk is way more conspicuous than yours.
Drunk guy #1: Let's have a junk contest!
–St. Mark's & 1st Ave
Drunk guy #1: My junk is way more prominent than your junk.
Drunk guy #2: No way, my junk is way more conspicuous than yours.
Drunk guy #1: Let's have a junk contest!
–St. Mark's & 1st Ave
Guy #1: It's too bad, 'cuz the good child actors always grow up to be terrible adult actors.
Girl #1: Not always. You have people like Drew Barrymore…
Girl #2: Or Doogie Howser.
Guy #2: Neil Patrick Harris! He has a name!
–St. John the Divine Cathedral
Overheard by: Kaitlen
30-something blonde in office attire on cell: You need to tell Vanessa that she can't be on the show because she's not overweight enough, and s not unattractive enough.
–Whole Foods Market, Chelsea
Syracuse University girl, going up escalator: I feel like I'm in Star Trek! (begins humming Indiana Jones theme)
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Mickey
20-something gaysian: Yeah, he watches Hannah Montana so I don't get why he makes fun of me for watching iCarly!
–Washington Square Park
Teen: I watched I Love Lucy last night. She's funny; she's like the Jim Carrey of the 1920s or something.
–UA School of Music and Art
20-something preppy kid to mother: You know, they really should have a reality show about Midtown.
–54th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Pedro
Teenybopper #1, giggling and running barefoot: We look like such crack whores!
Teenybopper #2: Yes, that's exactly the look I'm going for.
–Park Slope
Little girl to mother: Look, mommy! The squirrels are black, like the people are!
Mother: Be quiet! That's rude! (to bystanders) She just learned colors in pre-school.
–Bronx Zoo
Drunk girl to another: There's like 7 miles of cock out there and I can't even get 7 inches.
Friend: I'd be happy with 4 inches.
–Chaos Club
Guy: Nathan's the only one that's never lied to me.
Ditzy girl: Oh, yeah? What about me? I've never lied to you!
Guy: You did lie to me. That one time you told me you had Aids/cancer. I looked that up. It doesn't exist!
–Bobst Library, NYU
Overheard by: Krys
Girl to friend: What's the difference between penguins and puffins?
Friend: Well, for one thing, puffins are birds.
–Central Park Zoo, Penguin/Puffins Exhibit
Mousy teen girl: You know, a lot of people say I look like Paris Hilton. They say it's my facial features.
Trendy teen girl: Yeah… You know, even though Paris is really skinny and has big boobs, and that's exactly what guys want, her face is disgusting.
Mousy teen girl, looking down awkwardly: Yeah.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Miss Rach
Dude: So what's up, man?
Homeboy: Same old grind man, you?
Dude: What's up with your girl?
Homeboy, all smiley: Oh, man! She just miscarried, thank god! I couldn't be happier, dun!
Dude: Oh, yeah?
Homeboy: Yeah, it was great! Thank god!
Dude: Okay. Peace, man.
Homeboy: Still smiling, no doubt kid, one!
–Bedford Ave & Myrtle Ave
Overheard by: krillz
