Receptionist: Now, if you’re good, Jason, I’ll let you play with the models.
Five-year-old Jason’s dad: What models?
Receptionist: The prostate models.
–Smoke break outside Urologist’s office, 6th & 6th, Brooklyn
Receptionist: Now, if you’re good, Jason, I’ll let you play with the models.
Five-year-old Jason’s dad: What models?
Receptionist: The prostate models.
–Smoke break outside Urologist’s office, 6th & 6th, Brooklyn
Old Russian man approaches teen girl and says something in Russian.
Teen girl: What?
Russian man: You don’t speak Russian?
Teen girl: No.
Russian man: Oh, well you want job?
Teen girl: No.
Russian man walks away.
Girl’s mom: I think he wanted to hire you for an escort service.
–Sheepshead Bay train station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Waiting for the bus
Drunk Hispanic teen: How do I get to Times Square?
Older white lady: I am not sure… Maybe two stops. [Teen whispers to her.] Good Lord, no! I am old enough to be your mother!
–F train, 57th St
20-ish guy: Hi, I’m Pete.
Teen chick: Hi, I’m Karen.
20-ish guy: I’m normally really shy, but being as how I am on this train, and you are on this train, I figured I’d introduce myself. Do you have a boyfriend?
Teen chick: No.
20-ish guy: Great! I don’t have a girlfriend, either — we just broke up. Where are you heading?
Teen chick: Court.
20-ish guy: That’s great! I just came from court myself!
–A train
Overheard by: Kris, who got off at W4th
Drunk girl: Excuse me… Excuse me, sir. A lady pirate in the next car just violated me. She slid her sword down my skirt, man! For real — she was a fuckin’ pirate! There’s a whole bunch of pirates in the next car!
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: Jesse
Girl: You have a stain on the front of your pants.
Boy: I have a stain from your front on my pants.
–N train
Bachelor: I’m going to find out where all the hookers are, and I’m going to buy that.
–2nd Ave & 5th St.
Fratboy to friends: Other than the bleeding, I’d much prefer pussy.
–Peculiar Pub, LaGuardia & Bleecker
Overheard by: Spanky Van Dyke
Wife on cell: Hon, I think I might be pregnant. I’m getting nervous. I mean, my period’s not late, but I feel nauseous.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Snozberry
Guy with hot chick: Yeah, it feels fine! Is your tampon comfortable?
–Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lazy Mr. Wiggles
Loud lady: You know what my son calls my period?
–Q18 bus
Overheard by: Didn’t hang around to hear the rest…
Female employee: My boss hates hearing about menstruation. Any time I want to get him off my back I just tell him I’m having my period. He puts his hands up over his ears like he’s hearing nails on a blackboard. If he doesn’t leave me alone right away, I tell him my napkin is soaked and I have to change it.
–Peter Luger’s, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Big Larry
Dude: What I don’t get is, how did he get the tampon in his nose in the first place?
–Lower East Side
Man: I don’t like women. I like little boys.
Lady: Um, that’s the only line of that conversation I heard…
–McSorley’s
Woman, falling against man as train stops suddenly: Oh, I’m so sorry.
Man: Hey, no problem. [Gestures at girlfriend] Get a little closer — she isn’t jealous. She don’t mind.
–1 train
