Workout chick: Don’t worry, your standards are just off because you dated a fetus. Want some ice cream?
–Columbia University
Workout chick: Don’t worry, your standards are just off because you dated a fetus. Want some ice cream?
–Columbia University
Girl: Wow! Did you see the rack on her?
Guy: Where?
Girl: Over there…
Guy: Man! You’re not kidding!
Girl: See what I do for you? Who’s the best girlfriend ever?
–Rockefeller Center
Girl #1: So, he sells cell phones, but he makes like four hundred thousand a year! And he has this gorgeous wife and this gorgeous kid, and he smokes pot all the time and it never affects him…He is just amazing…It doesn’t make sense.
Girl #2: Is he Satan?
–Coral Towers Residence elevator, 3rd Avenue
Guy: You want to have lunch with me next week?
Girl: Sure, but not on Monday. I’m getting married.
Guy: You are? Really?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: To who? Is it Norman?
Girl: No, it’s whoever my dad chose.
–68th Street station
Overheard by: Babs Monroe
Construction guy: Well, she didn’t sound Chinese over the phone.
–Fulton & William
Girl #1: You should date the Jew; he would take you out to dinner and then they bone you.
Girl #2: Oh, as opposed to the Catholic ones that we just bone and skip dinner altogether?
–3rd Avenue & 10th Street
Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it.
–45th & Lexington
Overheard by: No, not her
Girl #1: I am, like, so obsessed with Asian guys. He is so great. I would so date him.
Girl #2: Date him? But he’s gay.
Girl #1: Those are my favorite kind of Asians.
–Grand Central
Paralegal chick #1: You have any plans for tonight?
Paralegal chick #2: Yeah, I’m going on a date with a girl I met online.
Paralegal chick #1: Oh. I didn’t know that you’re a lesbian.
Paralegal chick #2: I’m not.
–Office, 42nd & Lexington
White man: Excuse me, has anyone ever told you you look just like that rap guy?
Black guy: You mean Snoop Dogg?
White man: Yeah, him.
Black guy: Yeah, all the time.
White man: Are you related to him?
Black guy: Yeah, he’s a distant cousin.
White man: Really? Wow! You must get this all the time.
Black guy: Yeah, even my girlfriend says it.
White man: Well, that must be the reason she dates you. She probably wouldn’t date you if you weren’t related to him.
–1 train
