Asian dude to friends: So, he told me that you shouldn’t drink water after eating watermelon or else the seeds would grow in your stomach, and I was like, ‘Are you kidding me? That’s apple juice!’

–Bronx Science

Thug teen: I can’t drink soda. I drink soda, I’m drunk.

–J train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Chick: In a Snapple bottle?! How could he get it stuck in there?!

–Nostrand & Ave U

Bimbette: I wanna be a fly on the wall. You know — just an eyeball in the Kool-Aid.

–E train

Overheard by: Ashley

Black guy to scene kid: Yo, he’s got that Mountain Dew haircut.

–23rd St

Conductor: Please take all possessions, including newspapers, bags, and litter, including empty bottles of Snapple — the official drink of New York City — and enjoy what is left of your weekend.

–A train

Overheard by: Sarah

Queer on cell: Fiji water is so last year.

–Christopher St

Mad chick to man: And, you know, no, no! I am not going to IM you every time I’m drinking sangria!

–Nolita House, E Houston

Overheard by: amalthya

Girl: Oh my god! They have this iced tea here that’s, like, hot.

–Cosi’s, 13th & Broadway

Conductor: Good evening, everybody, and welcome to the 3:50 a.m. whiskey whistle! Were they giving away booze in New York tonight?

–LIRR, Penn Station

Overheard by: I wasn’t Drunk Though

Man: So, the officer said to me, ‘Ah, the old beer in a tube sock…’

–Judson Memorial Church, Washington Sq South

Overheard by: mrbojangles

NYU girl: Fruit punch is like fruit juice on ecstasy!

–Midtown

Overheard by: Ryan Hague

Mom to two-year-old: We’re going home now, and Mommy’s going to make a big, fat cocktail.

–Citibabes, Soho

Overheard by: wish i had a big fat cocktail

Female: I’m so thirsty I could almost drink water!

–Across from former Forward building

Overheard by: Avalanche