[Mother and four-year-old boy walking past liquor store]Mom: So we have to go to Duane Reade and… Oooh! Let’s get some wine.
Boy: Yeah!
–115th & Broadway
[Mother and four-year-old boy walking past liquor store]Mom: So we have to go to Duane Reade and… Oooh! Let’s get some wine.
Boy: Yeah!
–115th & Broadway
Socialite-in-training: So all I had in this stupid bar in Las Vegas is a vodka tonic and a whiff of cocaine and before I know it I’m making out with a guy that I distinctly remember saying "I don’t like you" to. Yeah… That happened a lot this summer…
–116th & Broadway
Yuppie: I’m in fucking Penn station, I don’t know if it’s fucking snowing outside. I hope six falls up my nose tonight.
–Penn Station
Student on cell: I mean, I could say there are people going into finance doing lines of coke on a Monday night and here I am, doing work.
–114th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Kid, walking out of middle school: Man, I could really use some cocaine!
–East Village
Model to friend about styling team: Yo, before I knew they were from California, I thought they were on coke…
–Crwon Heights
Overheard by: Cuttie
Yuppie to friend: No, seriously. He’s not a jerk at all. He’s a cokehead. You’ll love him.
–Essex & Rivington
Four-year-old daughter to father: Will you buy me a beer?
Father: I don’t know. Will you buy me a beer?
–82nd & Amsterdam
Eight-year-old-girl: What is aged cheese?
Dad: You age cheese to make it better.
Eight-year-old-girl: You do?
Dad: Like whiskey.
Eight-year-old-girl: Ahhhh, I see.
–Starbucks, 9th & 2nd
Loud lady #1: What you gonna name yo baby when she pop out?
Loud lady #2: Merlot.
Loud lady #1: What?!
Loud lady #2: Merlot.
Loud lady #1: Marlin?
Loud lady #2: Merlot. Its a fine wine, dummy. The reason she be comin’ in to dis world.
–1 Train
Overheard by: TylerDavis
Male Customer: I’ll take a tall Colombian.
Male Barista: Does he have to be cute?
–Starbucks, Park Row
Overheard by: Tickled Pink
Girl: God, there’s nowhere in the Lower East Side to order wine!
Guy passerby: Turn around.
Girl: No, I mean, like, in a bar.
–Outside ‘inoteca Wine Bar, 98 Rivington
Hobo: Hello, ladies and gentlemen — I am hungry. I do not do drugs or drink. I am just in need of some money for food, and–
Woman, sitting down: –Excuse me, your bag is leaking on us!
Hobo, removing burst 40: Oh, fuck!
–F train
Mother: Honey, we’re going to leave if you don’t stop. You already had hot chocolate and a scone.
Toddler: But Mommy, I want another hot chocolate!
Mother, gently sipping her own coffee: Honey, you’re acting like you’re on baby crack.
–Espresso 77, Jackson Heights
Freshman: Hi… I’ll get, uh… um… a Screwdriver and, um, a Corona, and with a lime.
Bartender: Generally, when you order a Corona it comes with a lime.
Freshman: Where I’m from, you don’t get a lime unless you ask for it.
Bartender: Where are you from?
Freshman: Westchester.
–Bar near NYU
