Tech geek guy: We really need to get a terrorism button.
Tech geek girl: Yeah, I totally agree. I’ve been having to use the old one, and I’m sick of it. A terrorism button would really make things easier.
–elevator, Newsweek building, 50th & Madison
Carson Kressley, on cell: It was so worth being sober and well-behaved.
–elevator, Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: SJB
Man in elevator, to young boy: Como estas?
Wife: That is Spanish. He is from Brazil.
Man: Of, course. So, how do you say “how are you” in Brazilian?
Wife: Meh, they speak Portuguese in Brazil.
Man: Yes, I know that…
Pause
Man: How do you say it in Brazilian?
–109th & Amsterdam
Woman: I know. Haven’t they figured out yet that if you hang around The Nation long enough, you’ll get hired?
Man: They hire anyone.
–elevator, The Nation building
Girl #1: So, he sells cell phones, but he makes like four hundred thousand a year! And he has this gorgeous wife and this gorgeous kid, and he smokes pot all the time and it never affects him…He is just amazing…It doesn’t make sense.
Girl #2: Is he Satan?
–Coral Towers Residence elevator, 3rd Avenue
Girl #1: Why you holding yo’ nose? We all know it smells like piss in here.
Girl #2: I know it smells like piss, I just don’ wanna pick anything else up into my lungs.
Girl #1: You jus’ wiling cause of the piss smell.
Girl #2: Please, the elevator in my building smells like piss. In fact, in my building, I can tell you the apartment number of who pissed in the elevator.
–Fordham Metro-North station elevator
Hipster guy: I’m doing two 7th graders at a time now.
Girl: The same two?
Hipster guy: Naw, I couldn’t stand those little bitches; these are their friends or something…and I don’t even have to take my guitar.
–Elevator, DUMBO
Old lady: Excuse me, how do I get to the second floor?
Intern chick: You just press “2” and wait for the elevator to go up.
Old lady: They just tell you what floor the exhibit is on, but they don’t tell how to get there!
–New-York Historical Society elevator, Central Park West
Overheard by: Ybelka
Guy #1: Man, how you gonna play like a kid came on to you? A four year old can’t even get it up.
Guy #2: How do you know? You hit on a four year old?
Guy #1: Nah, man. I was one.
–Elevator, Hudson & Houston
Overheard by: Michele
Guy: Did you see that woman? She looked at us like she’d never seen a black man before.
–NYU College of Dentistry elevator, East 24th Street
