Teen guido boy #1: I was going down on her and her pussy tasted like peach Snapple.
Teen guido boy #2: The iced tea, right?
–Colonnade Diner, Staten Island
Teen guido boy #1: I was going down on her and her pussy tasted like peach Snapple.
Teen guido boy #2: The iced tea, right?
–Colonnade Diner, Staten Island
Dude #1: So it’s either lots of bran every day, or just wake up to a cigarette and coffee. Works for me every time.
Dude #2: So there’s a health benefit to your vices, huh?
Dude #1: I guess so.
Dude #2: I wonder if gay guys have good shits. Maybe that’s a benefit of anal sex.
Dude #1: I’ll stick to cigarettes and coffee, thanks.
–Starbucks, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: iiams
Girl: Excuse me, is you popcorn kosher?
Counter guy: Um…I, ah, I dunno.
Girl: Do you even know what kosher means?
Counter guy: Hey, Geraldo. Is our popcorn kosher?
Geraldo: What the fuck’s kosher?
–Loews 84th Street Theatre 6
Black woman: My god. This bagel is hard as a rock!…I mean I can’t eat this shit. Can you eat this shit?
White guy: I’ll eat it.
Black woman: Ugh.
White guy: Well if you dont want to eat it, I’ll eat it. I’m hungry.
Black woman: I’m just sayin’ it’s the worst goddamn bagel I’ve ever had.
White guy: Honey, it’s from Dunkin’ Donuts. What do you expect? Domino’s ain’t good pizza and Olive Garden ain’t good Italian, either.
White chick: Dude! Next thing I know you’ll be telling her there is no Santa Claus. Go easy.
–Borough Hall 4/5 station
Overheard by: phil j
Guy #1: Yo man! You look smart…You know what language that is?
Man: English.
Guy #1: Ha, ha! Yo man, I was jus’ playin’ wit you! But for real, you know this one?
Man: Italian.
Guy #2: Whoa.
Guy #1: What about this one?
Man: German…French…Korean…
Guy #1: Dude, that’s sick…that’s genius. What do they call that? Polyner or something?
Man: A polyglot. Polaner is jam.
–2 train
Overheard by: Mikey
Bags woman: Ladies…Gucci, Prada, Louis! Ladies…
Hot dog guy: Ladies, get your Gucci hot dogs here…Prada hot dogs!
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Lori
Guy #1: Hey man, do you want these chips?
Urchin boy: No.
Guy #2: I guess beggars can be choosers.
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Mathew J
Girl: I can’t get food for you guys tomorrow. I have school. I am not
leaving school just to come here and get food for all of us.
Guy: You know education isn’t going to feed you.
Girl: That’s funny, because my boyfriend said to me last night that
education wasn’t going to get me married.
–Office, Old Slip & South
Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova
Woman #1: Wow, we have a lot of stuff for this party.
Woman #2: Oh, no! Do you think we have enough meat?
Woman #1: Of course! Jerry bought us like 50 pounds worth of meat yesterday.
Woman #2: Wow…who’re they trying to feed…the Queen? Ha, ha, ha!
Woman #1: Ha, ha, ha! No, no, no, who’re they trying to feed…an elf?
–7 train
Overheard by: Austin Cheng
Teen boy #1: I’m starving. If I had three wishes, I’d ask for three David’s bagels.
Teen boy #2: Why not just use one wish and ask for three bagels?
–A train
Overheard by: Jarett Wieselman
