Girl #1: Hey, we gave your boyfriend a new nickname!
Girl #2: Oh yeah, what?
Girl #1: Puff the Magic Dragon!
Girl #2, slightly exasperated: Oh…is that because of his cock?
–Cheap Shots, East Village
Girl #1: Hey, we gave your boyfriend a new nickname!
Girl #2: Oh yeah, what?
Girl #1: Puff the Magic Dragon!
Girl #2, slightly exasperated: Oh…is that because of his cock?
–Cheap Shots, East Village
Guy #1: Everyone who has ever worked there has come back and robbed the place.
Guy #2: If it is that bad, you should call the Better Business Bureau.
Guy #1: All the owner does is comp her friends, do coke in the back, and think she is successful.
–F train
Overheard by: Ferris
Girl: [chuckling] You know what’s funny? We always manage to notice how much other people stink but we could never gauge how bad we smell.
Guy: Heh. That’s so true!… Wait, you said that just to tell me how bad I smell.
Girl: Yeah.
–94th & Park
Overheard by: hunter 05
Friend #1: There’s a virgin.
Friend #2: What?
Friend #1: There’s a virgin.
Friend #2: What?
Friend #1: There’s a Virgin record store out by Times Square. We should go.
Friend #2: Yeah.
–Midtown Comics, 40th & 7th.
Girl #1: So he was at my house and we were like, fooling around on my bed, and I was lying on top of him, but then I made him get up.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because if he got turned on, got hard, came, his zipper fell down a little and some come got on my pants and while I was taking off my pants it brushed my underwear and then went inside me, I could totally get pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh, right.
–84th & 2nd
Overheard by: Samantha Thomas
Blonde preteen with braces: You know what’s so weird? She’s black and converted to Judo-ism.
Friend: [annoyed stare] It’s Judaism.
Blonde: Potato, tomato. It’s all the same.
–7 train
Overheard by: your mom
Girl to her friends: What are we doing here?
Random guy: Well, I’m glad the kids are still asking all the right existential questions.
–8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Mansoor Khan
Guy: Damn, I worked so hard this weekend. Mexicans didn’t come out of their hiding holes.
Girl: Hiding holes?
Guy: Stupid immigration shit, I’m going to slap every Republican back to Texas where they can pick their own fruit.
–St. John’s
Guy #1: Yeah, she wouldn’t shut up so I peed on her.
Guy #2: Just what I would have done, bro.
–Central Park
Girl: Do you bite your nails?
Guy: No, my girlfriend does it for me.
–Spring & Thompson
Overheard by: FERN
