Girl: Isn’t your dad Swiss?
Guy: No, he’s Swedish.
Girl: Oh, that’s right: people are Swedish, things are Swiss. Well, actually, they’re interchangeable.
–Sprint Store, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Thunder
Girl: Isn’t your dad Swiss?
Guy: No, he’s Swedish.
Girl: Oh, that’s right: people are Swedish, things are Swiss. Well, actually, they’re interchangeable.
–Sprint Store, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Thunder
Girl: They were all over each other, practically disrobing.
Guy: Hey, I might have liked to have seen that.
Girl: No you wouldn’t have. They were Australian.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Wic
Girl #1: Did you see that Italian lady offer me her seat on the subway?
Girl #2: Yeah, so?
Girl #1: So, it’s the shirt. This fucking expensive shirt makes me look pregnant.
Girl #2: So don’t wear it anymore.
Girl #1: No, it was expensive. I’d rather look like a well-dressed, knocked-up slut than a single girl with sub-par taste in clothing.
–AOL Time Warner Center, Columbus Circle
Woman: She’s always telling me, “You’re so wonderful, you’re so wise, you’re such a great friend.” And I’m like, “No, I’m just the only person left who still listens to you.”
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Zed
Boyfriend: Oooh, you look pretty in that dress.
Girlfriend: You’re revolting. Don’t touch me.
Queer buddy: Jeremy, this is your stop. Penn Station. Get out.
Boyfriend: No it isn’t. This is 96th Street.
Girlfriend: Do you have any idea how much I hate you? Stop touching me.
–Downtown A train
Overheard by: Shane
Guy #1: Wait a sec, what train is this? What am I on?
Guy #2: I’m on your mom. That’s what I’m on.
–D train
Dude #1: We went to a strip club for his birthday.
Dude #2: Cool.
Dude #1: He was bragging that the stripper kissed him, but she made him sick!
Dude #2: Not cool.
Dude #1: Now he has mono and feels like he’s going to die.
–58th & Columbus
Overheard by: finished lunch anyway
Headline by: mannadew
Runners-Up:
· “Best-Case Scenario Survival Handbook” – Keith Campbell
· “For the Man Who Has Had Everything” – Eric
· “Her day-job was a Karma Policewoman.” – Jehan
· “I’m thinking Christian Slater for the movie..” – yanick massicotte
· “Laser Tag Never Sounded Better” – Ned
· “Maybe the Nurse Will Strip For Him” – Trey Jackson
· “Not as bad as when I got Stigmata after a lap dance from Rachel Dratch” – Tourist #8
· “Not Everything Stays in Vegas” – miaka mouse
· “Now He’s Bragging That He Didn’t Get Herpes.” – Katie
Girl: I was like, “High school is over. I can’t wait to get away from everyone!” And then, thanks to you, I actually realized that I might miss some people. You, James*, Gabrielle*, Dave V.*, Karen G.*!
Guy: But all of us except James are going to St. John’s, and he’s coming here to Queens.
Girl: But Gabrielle is going to Jersey! Everyone knows that once you go to Jersey, your soul dies.
–Queens College campus
Overheard by: Peter G.
Commuter dude #1: The cars on this line feel smaller.
Commuter dude #2: Yeah, it’s like they’re narrower by just a bit or something.
Commuter dude #1: Oh wait; I think people are just fatter.
–1 train, Upper West Side
Girl: So did you ask your mom if you can go to the party or not?
Guy: Oh yeah! She said yes. But she made me promise to not come home this time with no pants on.
Girl: Seems fair.
–Rite Aid, Lex Ave
Overheard by: Jack
