Dude: Sorry I couldn’t make it Friday night. I heard it was quite a doody.
Chick: Yeah, it was so good that everyone shit their pants.
–32nd & 7th
Dude: Sorry I couldn’t make it Friday night. I heard it was quite a doody.
Chick: Yeah, it was so good that everyone shit their pants.
–32nd & 7th
Jersey teen on class trip: I wonder if they've got Billy Joel here.
Friend: Dude, isn't he some preacher in Texas?
–Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame Annex, Mercer St
Overheard by: stillrockn'rolltome
High school kid: I’m thinking of staying in the city for school.
Friend: Really?
High school kid: Yeah, I kinda want to stay in my apartment.
Friend: Oh, I thought it would be to party or something. Why would you want to live at home?
High school kid: Oh, don’t worry, I’m going to kick my mom out first.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: courtney
Friend #1: So how is your husband?
Friend #2: For some reason I keep on sleeping with his best friend.
Friend #1: What!
Friend #2: Yeah girl…I'm leaving him. So what do you want to order from the menu?
–Restaurant Queens
Girl, after getting foot run over by bike: Ow!
Man with bike: Sorry. (to friend) Look at her eyes, she's got blowjob eyes.
–L Train
Overheard by: Will
Girl: Can Jews have sex on Shabbos?
Friend: Are you serious?
Girl: Well, I don't know! They can't drive cars, they can't carry money, they even have a special elevator for them in hospitals! What can they do?
Friend: Apparently, not drive to hospitals and pay people to have sex with them in elevators.
–77th & York
Middle-aged Mets fan: Every time I come to Shea, the Mets don’t play very well.
Buddy: Yeah. Don’t come no more.
–Shea Stadium
Girl: I mean, I was rivaling Mary Tyler Moore in her peak for cuteness, and he didn’t even look at me.
Guy: I would totally freeze-frame you, if it’s any consolation.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Colin Hartnett
Hipster chick: Popping a blister is like smacking god in the face!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Alice
Homeless man on train begging for money by telling jokes: A black man and a white man go into a bar. They get into a fight with each other. And then they die. And then they go to heaven and god says to them: "What it is… what it is!"
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kristin
Girl to friend: I’m gonna have to get ghetto on god!
–61st & Broadway
Overheard by: lizzerd
Homeless man says to homeless woman: Now, these people are trying to hoodwink god!
–Seventh Ave & Lincoln Place, Park Slope
Overheard by: Annie
Professor to students: God is not a drug dealer!
–Fordham University
Sniffer: There are pedophiles everywhere. There are pedophiles in this train right now.
Friend: Mmm-hmmm.
Sniffer: I see them, and I know who they are. I can smell them.
Friend: Mmm-hmmm.
Sniffer: Yeah, I smell you.
–F train, Midtown
