Chick: You think I won’t step up and kick some nigga’s ass just because I’m a bitch? I’m bisexual. Yeah, I’m bisexual: I’m half bitch, half nigga.
–Q train
Overheard by: Reb Stu
Chick: You think I won’t step up and kick some nigga’s ass just because I’m a bitch? I’m bisexual. Yeah, I’m bisexual: I’m half bitch, half nigga.
–Q train
Overheard by: Reb Stu
Irate professional woman on cell: I raced down to Penn Station to buy a ticket to New Jersey, and now you tell me you're going to Hooters?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Erin and Willa
Blonde hipster: I knew I needed to get out of there when I heard her saying, "we should go to that bar next because it's near the PATH!"
–Rivington & Essex
Train conductor: The next stop is Park Place. Transfer is available to the a, c, e and PATH to Newwwwwwwwwww Jersey. I also have wonderful news that I am dying to tell you today. All 2 and 3 trains are making local stops this weekend. There are no express trains because of service changes.
–2 Train
Girl, interrupting singing couple: Guys, we need to class it up, we are not in Jersey anymore!
–5th Ave & 86th
Overheard by: GerMan in NY
Four-year-old boy: I don't wanna go to New Jersey!
–New Jersey Transit Terminal, Penn Station
Hipster: But you were in New Jersey when you got pregnant, it's okay.
–1st & St. Mark's
Blonde girl, looking up at bridge: The Brooklyn Bridge can blow me.
Brown haired girl: Ugh! Word!
–South Street
Overheard by: how does that work?
Girl #1: What do you call a person who delivers newspapers?
Girl #2: A “delivery person.”
Girl #1: Fine, be the non-conformist.
Girl #2: What would the conformist say?
Girl #1: “Paperboy,” and then get confused because what if it's an old woman?
Girl #2: Oh right, so, “paper person.” But then it sounds like those paper people chains I used to make as a kid, except mine were always awful and deformed…because you make one little mistake and then they're all fucked up. Suddenly I've got a chain of twenty-one legged freaks and can't sleep at night.
Girl #1: “Twenty one-legged freaks.” Not “twenty-one legged freaks.”
Girl #2: Though both terrifying.
Girl #1: The heck you talking about?
–Union Square
Chick #1: He was a skateboarder.
Chick #2: Yeah. Let me just say that he was locked and loaded. He had a nice package.
–Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Girl, as subway doors open: It smells like ass.
Guy: It's New York City, were you expecting sunshine and rainbows?
–Uptown F Train
Guy: My wife is just a hoot. She just tries and tries to undermine me.
–Craft, E. 19th Street
Girl: She’s into God and stuff like that. I hate that shit.
–C train
Overheard by: jason steinhauer
Slut: …all I know is that it’s $40,000 and you’ve gotta buy him breakfast in the morning.
–Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Girl #1: Look, yo! You got a tumor on your arm, a tumor!
Girl #2: That’s not a tumor, it’s a mosquito bite… like my tits!
–E Train
Overheard by: Jatmos
Girl #1: Are you sure you don’t mind taking the bus by yourself?
Girl #2: I’ll be fine. I’ve taken the B3 by myself before… with Steph.
–Taco Bell, Kings Plaza Mall, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lotte
Earth chick on cell: I had meditation and yoga class today. So, if you're coming over tonight we have to have spiritual sex.
–Barnes & Noble
Guy on cell: You're never going to believe this, but I need to tell you anyways. I just did some witchcraft.
–9th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Smoking Student
Yoga teacher: Not being able to do something can teach you a lot about yourself. Like how you're a fucking loser.
–Midtown
Rich white girl with dog in purse: Yeah, so when I went to go buy a dog, I picked Pookie out because he's a Pisces and I'm a Virgo, and that way our personalities will match.
–C Train
Overheard by: evan
White dude to another: I'd like to see what his chi looks like.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Aileen
