Wednesday One-Liners Neck With Their Steadies

Guy on cell: Dude, the girl is hot. We kissed a little last night, but I just wanna make out with her. I just wanna make out with her all night long. [Pause.] Yeah, I said make out.

–73rd & 1st

Overheard by: Missy

Overweight hipster girl with lisp: I’m the make-out masta.

–NYU Hayden Hall

Overheard by: The Doctor

Balding frat guy to girlfriend: Dude, open your eyes a little bit when we make out so it’s not like I’m raping you.

–C Train

Overheard by: I hate when that happens, too

Drunk girl: …so they ended up making out in a port-a-potty.

–Spring & Lafayette

College girl on cell: Don’t move in with him, just make out with people!

–Starbucks, West 43rd & Broadway

Overheard by: good advice

Posted on June 11, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Boyfriends, Crime and Punishment, Drunks, Frat Boys, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Sorority Girls, Starbucks, The Village, Upper East Side, Washington Square Park, Wishes & desires, Words

You Can’t Choose Your Wednesday One-Liners

Jewish girl: I think my family likes me because I will fulfill my potential to be a pompous ass.

–NYU Bobst Library

Thirty-something Hispanic woman: All my nephews are boys… All of them.

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Suze V

Girl on cell: Well then maybe you shouldn’t have fucked my sister!

–70 & Broadway

Girl on cell: …The half-Asian, half-Jewish guy. And she’s like: "My brother is so pissed at me!" and I’m like: "Of course he’s pissed, you’ve gotten with six of his friends."

–St. John’s University

Overheard by: Peter G

Guy: I’ve seen my sister-in law’s titties so many times…

–Yankee Stadium

Girl on cell: So the little girl at the wedding was like: "Are you guys brothers?" And I was like: "No, we fuck".

–24th St b/w 6th & 7th

Overheard by: Amy

Posted on June 11, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, College, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Jews, Judaism, Latinos, Library, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nipples, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, Promiscuity, Queens, Race, Sex, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Weirdness, Women, Words, Yankee Stadium

The Girly Bits Of Wednesday One-Liners

Young man in small crowd: Honestly, the vaginas I’ve seen in real life are nowhere near as bad as the vaginas I’ve seen in med school.

–86th & Columbus

Overheard by: Stacey

Girl: I feel like the male anatomy is so much more straightforward. The vag is hard to master.

–Fordham University

20-something girl: If he’s gonna be such a whiny vagina about you being safe about your vagina, then you shouldn’t be sleeping with him anyways.

–NYU Dorm

Teenage boy, eating a sandwich: He said no mayonnaise. It tastes like a big vagina.

–63rd Drive & Queens Boulevard

Hobo: And then the woman just sucked it all into her vagina.

–44th & 7th

Overheard by: The One

Frantic Asian guy, running across the street in front of Worldwide Plaza: Yeah… Yeah… But whose vagina?"

–9th Ave & 50th St

Overheard by: tinyfoo

Posted on June 11, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Food, Fordham, Gender issues, Girls, Hobos, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, Penis, Queens, Questions, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Students, The Bronx, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Weirdness

But It Was Still the Best Math-Club Party Yet

Obnoxiously loud girl: So I was at this party and this really drunk girl was like: “Oh my god, pierce my nipples!” and this guy did and I watched the whole thing.
Her friend: Really?
Obnoxiously loud girl: Yeah! But I was expecting blood, don’t you think there’d be blood?

–Starbucks, Washington Square

Posted on June 10, 2008
Blood & bleeding, Celebrations/Parties, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Nipples, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Starbucks, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

Why We Named Her “Nagasaki”

Girl: God, that dog’s farts are disgusting.
Guy: Yea, her ass smells like World War II.

–M Train

Overheard by: Jonathan V.

Posted on June 9, 2008
Animals & Nature, Ass, Compare/Contrast, Default, Farting & Burping, Girls, Gripes, Guys, History & Geography, On the Subway, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences

I Still Think That Nun Was Lying About Satan Living in the Clit

Black teen girl #1: Okay, what’s your sign?
Black teen girl #2: Aries!
Black teen girl #1: [reading] “You will learn a lot this month…”
Black teen girl #2: Man, fuck that shit, all I want to learn is the true anatomy of my vagina!

–N Train

Overheard by: Natalie

Posted on June 9, 2008
Black People, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, On the Subway, Questions, Teens, Vagina, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

And Our Guidance Counselor Says We Have No Hobbies!

Girl #1: I think I’m starving myself.
Girl #2: Me too!

–Leon M. Goldstein High School

Posted on June 9, 2008
Fast Times at New York High, Friends, Girls, Sensory Experiences, Stupidity, Words

You’ll Ruin the Other New Yorkers’ Delicate Sensibilities

Girl walking with friend: Well how about a fist to your vagina!?
Friend: [Looking around.] Uhh you really don’t want to be saying that right now.

–Jay Street

Posted on June 8, 2008
Default, Etiquette, Friends, Girls, Hand-Jobs, Offers and requests, Questions, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Guess the Legislation Hasn’t Gone Through Yet

Chick #1: Hanukkah starts today.
Chick #2: Oh? Do they still celebrate that?

–Elevator, School of Visual Arts

Overheard by: Lezbotron

Posted on June 7, 2008
College, Default, Elevators, Girls, Holidays, Judaism, Questions, Stupidity

He’d Been Wearing His Fat-Invisibility Cloak at the Bar

[Guy walks by and elbows girl in head.]Girl: Ow!
[A drunk girl is passing by.]Drunk girl: I’m sorry!
Girl: No, some guy just elbowed me in the head.
Drunk girl: Don’t worry about it. One time I met this guy here and went home with him, but it turned out he lived in Brooklyn. And he was fat.

–Bar, 14th & Ave A

Posted on June 7, 2008
Advice, Bars & Clubs, Default, Diet/Weight, Drunks, Girls, Hook Ups, NYC Geography, Union Square and East Village

Girls