She Must Live in Amsterdam Now

Girl: Santa Claus is from Finland, you know.
Guy #1: Oh yeah?
Girl: Yeah, he’s not from the North Pole like you think he is…I know him, I can ask him about you.
Guy #1: Oh yeah? Well, have I been naughty all these years?
Girl: I don’t know, I’d have to go back and ask him.
Guy #1: Yeah, find out why I haven’t been getting presents all these years.
Guy #2: He’s Jewish.
Woman: Are you from Finland, then?
Girl: Yes.
Woman: Are you Santa Claus’ granddaughter, then?
Girl: Oh yeah, and we’re from the same town in Finland…and he’s not fake, he’s real!

–L train

Overheard by: Kaitie

Posted on December 24, 2005
Christianity, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Holidays, Judaism, On the Subway, Women

Show Us Your Teats!

Guy: Um, are you disappointed that I don’t have tits?
Girl: I mean, a little.
Guy: Why? You looking to suckle?

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram

Posted on December 23, 2005
Body Parts, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Kink, Questions, Rack

He Had a Crunk Attack

Girl #1: My brother’s started taking marijuana and I’m worried cause he’s only 17.
Girl #2: I’m so anti-drugs because my dad’s brother died of a drug overdose.
Girl #1: Was it a marijuana overdose?

–Columbia University

Posted on December 22, 2005
Age/Aging, Columbia, Columbia University, Death, Drugs, Girls, Stoners, Teens, Weed

Just Take Three Cars, Like Columbus

Girl #1: So Becca’s gonna drive to California from here?
Girl #2: Nope, she’s taking a plane.
Girl #3: Ha, ha! Yeah, duh! Wow, you’re stupid! How could you drive across the ocean?

–LaGuardia, Amsterdam Avenue

Overheard by: Amelia

Posted on December 22, 2005
At the Airport, Girls, Idiots, Stupidity, Travel, U.S. Geography

Lauren Weisberger’s Really Reaching

Dude: Yo did you know that the new Pope wears Prada shoes and Gucci sunglasses?
Chick: Really? Isn’t he not supposed to be vain? Probably all given for free, that lucky fuck.

–6 train

Overheard by: Innocent X

Posted on December 22, 2005
Christianity, Fashion, Girls, Guys, On the Subway

Mike’s Hard Plasma

Girl: So we were all really drunk one night and someone said we should all drink our blood.
Guy: Oh yeah?
Girl: So we cut ourselves and dripped blood into this cup and passed it around. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen…we were really drunk.
Guy: That’s really not good. That’s really bad.
Girl: …But we were really drunk.

–Loews Lincoln Square, West 68th Street

Overheard by: jesse kay

Posted on December 20, 2005
Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movie Theaters, Psychology, STDs, Stupidity

Best Double Negative Ever

Girl #1: I have to go soon, I have a child at home.
Girl #2: Oh, an undead abortion?

–Hi Fi, Avenue A

Posted on December 20, 2005
Abortion, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Moms, Parents

They Do Have Lots of Wings in Asia

A little Asian boy sneezes without covering his mouth.

Black lady: Excuse you!
Asian mom: He’s only 3, he didn’t know any better.
Black lady: Haven’t you heard of bird flu, motherfucka!

–M96 bus

Overheard by: Chris Roberts

Girl #1: I feel like shit. I think I’ve got the Asian Bird Flu.
Girl #2: Don’t you mean Avian Bird Flu?
Girl #1: Whatever.

–56th & Broadway

Overheard by: K.M

Woman: Isn’t it here in America?
Teen boy: Naw…it’s in Japan. All these people be dying from it. Thank god Bush won’t let it in the country.

–Associated Supermarket, Astoria

Overheard by: Demy

Posted on December 19, 2005
Asians, Black People, Boys, Girls, Grocery Stores, Illness, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Bus, Stupidity

He Proceeded to Mash Dog Crap into His Chest

Man: You dropped something.
Teen girl: What?
Man: You dropped something.
Teen girl: No, I didn’t.
Man: Yeah, you did…You dropped my heart.
Teen girl: Well, pick it up and put it back in.

–90th between Columbus & Amsterdam

Posted on December 18, 2005
Body Parts, Girls, Manhattan, Men, People, Pick-up Lines, Places, Sex & Relationships, Teens, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Don’t Ask Him How It’s Hanging

Girl: Wow, look at all these vegetables and things.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: This is great! We should come here all the time.
Guy: I think my testicles are falling off.

–Union Square

Posted on December 17, 2005
Balls, Girls, Guys, Union Square and East Village

Girls